


Realities

by inesucag



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Robin: Son of Batman (Comics)
Genre: Adult Damian Wayne, Angst, Bad Parent Talia al Ghul, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Character Death, Damian Wayne Feels, Damian Wayne Needs a Hug, Damian Wayne is Bad at Feelings, Damian Wayne is Not Robin, Damian Wayne is Robin, Damian Wayne-centric, Fluff, Good Parent Talia al Ghul, Hurt Damian Wayne, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I cried writing this, Jonathan Kent is a good friend, Sick Damian Wayne, Sorry Not Sorry, Worried Dick Grayson, it didn’t worked out, omg this is hella long sorry, the best one, tried to put some more fluff, turned into angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:20:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 26,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28608948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inesucag/pseuds/inesucag
Summary: Multiple One Shots about Damian Wayne, requests are open. Damian age varies, but mostly he is 13.
Relationships: Barbara Gordon/Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne, Damian Wayne & Everyone, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Jason Todd & Damian Wayne, Jonathan Samuel Kent & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Damian Wayne
Comments: 34
Kudos: 166





	1. Lazarus dependence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last thing Bruce expected was Talia saying his youngest son, Damian, was dying. And no, he can’t make something about it but enjoy the last months his son has.
> 
> Damian also sees how life continues even when he’s dying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the angst lol, also this must be probably the longest one shot I've ever written, it seriously got out of my hands and got way too long. I posted this as a two part one shot in my wattpad profile @inesucag in a book of one shots about Damian Wayne.
> 
> Sorry for any grammar error.
> 
> WARNING CHARACTER(S) DEATH, CHRONIC ILLNESS, AND SOME MENTIONS OF PAST SUICIDE ATTEMPTS AND SELF HARM

Thalia was observing how his son was resting peacefully. She could not quite remember the last time she had seen her boy sleep like that. Probably never, she thought. Back at the league Damian always was a light sleeper, paranoid, and always aware of his surroundings, sleeping as a soldier to sleep in a way he could wake up and defend himself fast.

But it was not like he did not had the motives to do so back then.

She smiled as she observed him sleep in his room at the manor, she wish she could see his son awake and talk to him right now, but she would not be able to hold herself if he was awake, it would be too painful.

"Thalia, what are you doing here!?" He heard Bruce, his beloved whisper at her, he was ready to fight. "You will not take my son, you lost all rights over Damian a long time ago."

Yes, she had, some years ago when she had disowned him, but now Damian was 15, almost 16, he was already a teenager.

She got down of the tree and got closer to his beloved.

"I am not here for that beloved, I just wanted to see him, and I need to speak with you."

Bruce tensed.

"But not here, I would not want to disturb Damian nor wake him up."

They both got down to the Batcave, Thalia never understood why her beloved worked in such a cold place, she had never liked the cold. Bruce interrupted her thoughts as he got to the computer and glared at her.

"Talk."

Thalia inhaled before explaining herself.

"You have noticed the same color of eyes that my son, my father and I share right?" Bruce nodded. "You may had suspected it before, but it is not natural, my eyes were brown a long time ago, and so were Damian's. It all changed after the Lazarus Pit of course, as you noticed with Jason and his eyes."

Bruce frowned. "I dont see were youre going Thalia-"

Thalia signed him to keep silent. "I am not done, you probably do not know this, but the Pits are almost completely gone, my father has just one more left, and I am afraid it is the last one in the entire world..." Thalia looked down for a moment, and looked at Bruce again. "He does not wants to share them with us..."

"Us?"

"Me and Damian beloved. I am afraid that after the amount of times we have used the Lazarus Pits...we have uh created a dependance to them, we are only alive thanks to being able to use them after certain amount of time, and our time is running out. I would not be surprised if Damian is starting to show symptoms just as I soon will."

"Thalia this isn't true, Damian is fine he-"

"Is he, beloved? Is my son really fine? Or is he just being the great actor he is thanks to the league that he always liked to be? After all, it would not be the first time he is hiding an illness."

Bruce crossed his arms. "I dont understand it, if there is just one Lazarus Pit is left why cant we bring Damian to it?"

"Im afraid it would not work for long Bruce, and after all, my father will use it as fast as he shows symptoms, after it, I finally will have an opportunity to kill him, in the meanwhile he will have the best of the best taking care of the pit, it will be impossible, even for you, to get there alive."

Bruce was slowly realizing what this meant. He would loose his son, again. And he was refusing to believe it.

"Of course I can, I could bring all the family!"

"Beloved-"

"Maybe Superman too or part of the JL-"

"Bruce"

"We could all bring Damian to the pit and-"

"Bruce!"

Bruce finally stopped, he knew he was not thinking rationally, he didnt cared.

"Beloved, please, you have no idea how much I would want that too...but what after it? What if any of you do not get out of there alive? How would Damian feel about it? What if Damian does not makes it out of there, it would be in vain...it is too risky, and it would be for nothing, maybe he would just get till 18, maybe he will get through 21 birthday at most, would you risk it all, risk the rest of your family, just so Damian can live a couple of years more."

Bruce knew she was right, Damian would not want to feel responsable of any death just so he could live a little more.

"You already gave him a second chance Bruce, a second life, in more than one way, now let him enjoy the last months of it, do not waste them on searching a way for him to live longer, it is not possible, I know it."

Bruce wanted to cry so bad, but he wouldn't do it in front of Thalia, then another painful thought came to his mind, what about Jason? What about his other son? Will he die again too? He wouldnt be able to get through his two sons dying for a second time.

"What about Ja-"

"He will be fine Bruce, he only used the pit once, as I told you, we developed a dependence because of the amounts of times we used them."

That...that meant Damian had used the pit more than once, probably much more times, and it hurt him as a father to know it, to know that he hadnt been able to save his son sooner, if he had known before, if he had took him when he was younger...maybe he would have avoided all this problem and saved Damian from most of the horrors he had been through his life...

Bruce stopped himself from thinking further, there were no ifs, and it would be of no use to him or Damian. He needed to focus. He turned back at Thalia.

But she was already gone. And Bruce had a feeling that it would be the last time he would see her.

He didnt cared to follow her, it would be of no use.

Bruce got upstairs after changing to civilian clothes, and walked through the halls toward his room. He stopped as usual in the other rooms, his sons' rooms.

Dick, Jason and Tim were visiting. Dick had taken a few days off from his work due to a concussion and his brothers had forced him to take some rest. Jason had been visiting a lot recently, their relationship had improved a lot recently, they were not at the same point they were before, but they would get there eventually. At least that is what Bruce hoped for. Both of his eldest were asleep.

And Tim kinda lived half of the time in the manor and half of the time with his team, he was still awake on his room, he was working on a case. "Hey B, I was just about to go to-" He yawned, and looked at Bruce. "Are you ok?" He said concerned.

Bruce hadn't noticed how he was crying silently, he had some tears on his eyes, he wiped them as he entered the room and sat at the feet of Tim's bed.

"You...you know you can talk to us do you?"

Bruce nodded. "Thalia was here, I just talked to her a few minutes ago."

Tim tensed as he closed his laptop. "What did she wanted? Was she here for Damian? Are you all right? Is Damian all right?"

"That's the thing...she came to talk, she warned me about something." Bruce told Tim about everything, Tim listened to him silently as he nodded, not showing emotions until he realized what it meant.

"What are you going to do? Will you tell Damian, or do you think he already knows?"

"I'm sure he already knows something's up, I believe Thalia in the fact that he is hiding the fact that he is not feeling well, but I dont think that he knows what is going on."

They both stayed silent, both of them in their own thoughts.

"Im planning on telling him tomorrow morning, we will tell the rest on the afternoon, I probably shouldnt have told you, but I just-"

Tim nodded, he understood.

Bruce stayed in his room for a little longer before finally heading out.

He entered to Damian's room, he watched him sleep with music on, and with Titus and Alfred (the cat obviously) at his bed.

He probably stayed in the door for too long, before he headed back to his room.

He wasn't able to sleep that night.

***

Damian woke up with a headache, he felt as if he hadn't rested at all, it had been like that for the last couple of days...maybe weeks. His body ached too, sometimes it was worse, like as if he was burning, but he knew that feeling, this was nothing compared to it.

He took a shower and decided he would not take Titus on his daily morning walk, he would do it after breakfast, maybe that would help him get some energies back.

"Master Damian, I hoped you rested well, you father had mentioned yesterday a morning training with you."

Damian lied about the fact that he hadn't rest at all. And mentally swore because of the fact that he had forgot his morning training with father.

And speaking of the devil...

"Damian! Son, Im glad to see youre already awake, can I have a moment with you?"

Damian did a mental list of all the things that his father could possibly want to talk about. He hadn't fought much with Drake recently, he had respected father and Pennyworth, he hadn't disobeyed father as Robin...at least not too much. And he hadn't talked much with Grayson and Todd during the last week.

"It's not anything bad you did." His father told him as they both entered the studio. His father closed the door behind him. He seemed nervous, maybe a bit sad too. So maybe it wasnt anything bad that Damian did. But it was something bad after all.

"What about the morning training father?" He asked, even when he mentally thanked any God or being for it being mostly probably cancelled.

"We...we wont do it. I just need to talk to you." 

(Omg this is getting so long in my head that I'm thinking about making this as a short story of its own or a series of one-shots, but nooo I want to see were it ends lol, like I want to write around 5000 words but I dont think Im capable of doing it in just one seat....or maybe I will be able?)

Damian was already worried, but he was getting even more worried, why would father wanted to talk to him and only him for something bad that he did not do, (or probably), and not with all the rest of the family at the same time?

His father took a deep breath. "Thalia visited yesterday."

Oh...

oh.

"Wait? Mother visited? Why?" And how had he not know about it? Or even noticed it?

"Yes, at night, you were asleep, I'm surprised you didnt wake up." Bruce let out a sigh. "She wanted to talk..."

"Talk about what father?"

"She said something about a Lazarus Pit dependence..."

Bruce told his son all about what had happened the night before, he didnt mentioned the fact that he also told Tim, he would tell him later.

"I...I had heard mother mention the...secondary effects that the Lazarus pits could do on someone, but I never really got the chance to see it before, I probably had required to use the pit in so short amount of time that I never had to deal with all that before."

"Damian, please, I want...I need to know if you have been hiding any of this symptoms from me."

"Yes father, I did...but I swear I only got a small flu that wasnt important, it had just been being tired, headaches and my body hurting, nothing too important."

Bruce was sad about the fact that his son still believed that him being sick wasnt important.

"Son, I know you think a small flu isnt important, but anything is important if it is bothering you, I hope you understand that."

Damian nodded looking down. He was still processing the things his father had said.

"Father...so Im dying?"

Bruce stayed quiet, he couldnt bring himself to tell him that he was in those words, but they both knew the reality so it would be just useless to try to convince them both that he wasnt.

His father's silence was all Damian needed to accept the reality.

"Damian we can still try to get to the pit-"

"No father, we cant do that, why doing it for just so little time to all of it to repeat again. Mother is right, it would be selfish and useless."

So this is how death would get him again for once and for all? Not even before he got to finish high school? It had all been useless, his resurrection all those years ago and the sacrifices his family had made to get him back.

Life was unfair, but Damian already knew that, he just wished he could be a little boy again, believing things would get better.

He started crying at some point, and the next thing he knew was that his father was hugging him.

He cried without caring for once in his life.

"Father...can I ask you something?" He asked to his father.

"Of course son, what is it?"

"After I die...if you ever find a way to bring me back, could you...could you not? Could you let me rest please?"

Bruce hugged his son tighter as he cried.

"Dad, please...I want you to promise me."

And Bruce used all his will of power to answer his son's request.

"Ok Damian...I promise."

***

They called a family reunion in the afternoon with everyone that was at the manor at the moment.

Damian was sitting in a couch at the library at his father's side, he had fallen asleep at some point while he was reading and his father had woke him a few minutes ago.

"B what is it? I was just about to go out with Roy." Jason complained, but he knew it had to be important judging the tone Bruce had told him to go to the meeting. And the fcat that Alfred was there too.

"Yeah Bruce youre scarring us" Dick said.

"Who died?" Jason joked.

Bad choice of words, the room's mood changed.

Dick opened his eyes when he saw the face on Bruce, Tim and Damian.

"Ok guys now youre truly scarring me, is someone dead?!" He panicked.

"No one is dead Richard, dont be foolish." Damian tried to said that in a deadpanned tone, but his voice cracked. "At least not yet..." He murmured, but his family still heard him.

"What do you mean with not yet demon? Who is dying? Is it Bruce?" Jason looked at the man to see any confirmation, it was a relief when he shook him head.

Bruce looked at Damian to support him, but mostly to ask him without words if he wanted him to tell them.

Damian shook his head, I can do it, he told himself.

"My mother came yesterday," Dick almost gasped, and Jason almost punched something, Alfred stayed quiet, and Tim...didnt looked surprised for some reason. "She said some things about secondary effects of the multiple times I used the pit..."

"The pit's dependance." Jason said with eyes wide open. He was starting to understand were all this was going to, and he didnt liked it. He had heard about it back when he was in the league.

"Whats the pit dependance?" Dick asked.

"It is a dependance people form when they use the pit too much, I didnt developed it because I just used it once, but Damian on the other hand...he should use the pit after a couple of years, sometimes more, if he wants to keep living."

"When was the last time you used a pit Damian?"

Damian didnt had to try hard, it had been exactly 9 months before he had meet his father.

"So that was years ago..." Dick said.

"I dont understand, why dont we bring you to a new pit if you need it so badly? Of course I dont like the idea much, but it is the only way isnt it?"

Damian nodded.

"The only problem is that there is only one pit left, not much of it, and Ras refuses to let Thalia or Damian use it." Bruce said.

"It would be selfish, careless and useless if I use it, it would only expand my life a couple of years, but no more. And then I would die either way."

Dick started shaking his head, refusing to believe it, his little brother, his Robin, he couldnt-

"But we can try Dames, we can bring you-"

"Richard, stop."

"No Damian! I will not let you die again and so easily when we can do something about it, I will not-"

Dick was interrupted by a coughing fit he got that made his head feel dizzy and his throat taste like blood.

And indeed there was some blood in his hand.

"Symptoms have already started?" Jason asked preoccupied.

Damian nodded. "Yes, they have been going for a couple of weeks, but the coughing is new." He said looking as his feet, after dizziness was gone he looked at his oldest brother. "Dick, please, I have my reasons, and I hope you understand it."

He stood up to go to his room, Drake and his father helped him.

When they arrived, they put Damian on his bed, he was feeling exhausted, today was a bad day.

"Timothy..." He said before they left.

"Since when have I become Timothy?" Tim asked, their relationship had gotten better, but not that good.

Damian tried to roll his eyes. If he was about to die for good in less than a year, he wanted to at least show his family he cared and loved them.

"You did not seemed surprised about anything."

"I told him" his father said. "Right after Thalia left, I just needed someone to speak to."

Damian nodded, he had told Tim before him, but he had been asleep. He would have gotten very angry probably a few months ago, but right now he didnt had the energy to care, not when he didnt knew how long he had, he didnt wanted to die while being angry at his family.

He wouldn't make the same thing twice, if he died again, for good, he wanted to be in good terms with everyone, and that included Tim and his father.

And at some point, he felt asleep.

(oopsssss so did I lol, I felt asleep while writing this lmao)

***

The next couple of days Alfred let him sleep longer than usual. Weird. But Damian was not feeling like he just had some extra hours of sleep.

He looked at the clock, it was past noon, lunchtime. 

Damian stood up, maybe too quickly, it took him almost an entire minute to gain balance and see perfectly again.

Someone had already took Alfred the cat and Titus out, and probably took Titus for his daily walk that Damian hadn't took him yesterday.

A couple of minutes more and he had already taken a shower and dressed up. Today was a better day than yesterday, he could feel it.

As he walked down the stairs he noticed lunch wasn't served yet, he could see Pennyworth in the kitchen cooking, and Tim was at the table on his laptop, probably doing something college-related. Which reminded Damian that he still had homework to finish. 

He didn't understood what was the point of doing his homework, he wouldn't finish the year anyways. Maybe it was just so the press wouldn't suspect, or because Bruce still wanted to give him a sense of normality as long as he could give him.

"Good morni-afternoon Pennyworth."

"Master Damian." Alfred greeted the teenager. God, he was still only a teenager. Alfred thought.

"So do I help you with that?" Damian signed at the stuff the butler was cooking.

"Oh it's fine master Damian, I don't require assistance right now."

"Oh." Damian said, and then took the dishes to place them in the table as he normally would do when he helped Alfred.

"Don't worry Master Damian, Tim was already going to help me with those."

Tim heard his name and looked up from his laptop.

"I was?" He asked confused, then he saw the look on Alfred. "Uh yeah! I-I was let me just..." 

Damian frowned when he understood what was going on.

Tim noticed his frown.

"You know Alfred, I still have to do some stuff about those admissions for college...but I'm sure the grem-Damian! Can still help you."

Alfred glared at the young adult.

"Master Tim-"

"Tt, I understand Pennyworth, thank you Timothy, just tell me when it's time to eat."

Damian left the kitchen and decided to head to the bat ave. It was already noon so he could go to the bat cave.

Dick was in there, he was talking to Barbara who had been invited to eat with them.

Damian decided to ignore them and go straight towards the mats, he hadn't been able to come down to the bat cave for training and he was starting to feel anxious, he needed it.

He started stretching a bit before he took a katana and decided to turn on the simulator, nothing out of usual, Damian thought.

Or at least until he had already beaten two levels of it and Richard came running to him as a lunatic.

"Damian! Stop! What the hell are you doing?!"

Damian almost got hit because of the condition, emphasis on the almost.

"Tt, training of course? Or had no one told me that aside from your concussion you got blind too?"

Dick didn't responded him and just turned off the thing. "Damian stop it, you're in no conditions of do this."

Damian rolled his eyes, he was about to answer to his older brother until a bad headache hit him. Timothy was still working on those pills to help his headaches, because normal pills wouldn't help him, so he just tried to his it as well as he could in front of Grayson.

"See? What if you feel bad while training? Damian you're sick you can't-"

"I'm perfectly aware of my condition Grayson. Now if you will act so stupidly I shall leave you here so you won't keep bothering me."

And with that he left the cave, leaving the couple alone.

"You know Dick, you should let Damian be, he did told you about the fact that he has been having all the symptoms for weeks right?"

Dick nodded.

"And he has still been pretty good at being Robin, so unless there's a big problem with him at the moment, you should let him do his stuff, he's not a kid anymore, you can't protect him like that...even if he's, you know. 'Sick'."

Her boyfriend didn't answered. Damian was his little boy, he just...wish things could be easier for him.

Even if he had been fighting well during his recent trainings, his ribs could confirm it.

(Omggg I'm writing this now on an airplane and damn I think I just broke a bone the other day that I felt, because I hit it again accidentally and it hurtsss-)

Damian was angry, he went upstairs, maybe he could read something during his free time while Timothy and Pennyworth finish the lunch.

He was surprised to find his father at the library, he would normally be at his studio or WE around this time of the day.

"Damian, I didn't knew you were already awake."

"Of course father, it's almost lunch time, why would I still be resting?" Damian would love to have some more rest, but he would just waste time, he knew it was useless, it didn't mattered how long he sleep, he  
would always be tired.

Bruce just shrugged his arms and continued looking at some papers he had placed on the desk.

"What are you doing?" Damian asked curious, maybe he could help his father with whatever he was doing.

"It's a case, WE related, someone apparently stole some of the money that was supposed to go to the charity, and I have motives to believe it was some of the money the penguin has been using, I just need a way to connect it."

"Oh I can help-" Damian got a closer look at the documents, they were some financial stuff with graphics on it, and some notes with father's handwriting.

His father covered them with his hand and looked at Damian, "uh, I think food is ready, why don't you go ask Alfred?"

Damian didn't protested, he did frowned at his father, but the man was already too invested in his documents to notice it.

Lunch wasn't ready yet, soDamian decided to go out to check on Batcow, who was currently taking fresh air outside the manor, after checking the cow, he found Todd, who was carrying some boxes into a car.

"Demon! Hey can you help me with this stuff? There are some other boxes right in the entrance."

Damian picked the boxes and helped Jason carry them.

Jason noticed how the teen was looking at the boxes, "Oh, they are some stuff I ordered online for my apartment, I asked Bruce if I could pick them here because it would be kind of dangerous to leave them at my door and have someone looking at them or taking them." He closed the car's door and gave Damian a friendly punch in the shoulder.

"Thanks Dames."

"My name is Damian, use it."

"Sure Demon."

"Tt." Damian watched as Jason entered to the manor.

"Thank you Todd."

Lunch was finally ready, Damian seriously didn't knew what took them so long. It must have been the fact that they didn't got Damian's help, he always finished first.

As they ate lunch they were talking about Barbara and Dick getting back together, and Tim teased Dick about if he would finally would stop being so scared of taking the next step.

"Nah, I'm pretty sure it's gonna be Babs who makes the question." Jason said.

"Yeah, no offense Richard, but I'm pretty sure Gordon will ask you because you're too much of a coward."

Dick protested and Barbara grinned. The discussions continued for some more minutes.

"Ok,ok, now if you're done with teasing Dick, I think we should all take our dishes to the kitchen, Dick could you pick Damian's?" Bruce said.

"I'm perfectly capable of bringing my own plate father."

Dick ignored his protests and took his dish. "Just let me take it Damian."

"No, everyone else is taking their dishes, why not me too?"

"Damian-"

"All of you are treating me as if I'm invalid! Which I'm not! Even Pennyworth isn't letting me help him! Only Todd is treating me the same, and Drake let me do things! Even if he is treating me differently, more nicely! I'm perfectly capable of doing things and I'm fine!"

"You're not fine Dames! You're dying! My little brother's dying and I can't do anything about it!"

"Don't you think I know that?!"

"No! You just try to ignore it! But it's us who are going to have to see you die, it's us the ones that are seeing you get sicker, it's me who will have to bury his little brother twice because I could help him! I will have to wake up someday soon, and know that you're not here to live it with me!"

Damian stayed quiet, Dick was probably tearing at this point. He didn't knew what to do, normally it would be Dick the one comforting him, not the other way around, he wasn't good at it...he just-

"The cycle of life is the younger watching the older die, not the other way...not again..."

Damian hadn't showed it, but he was scared of being sick. Scared he didn't knew how long he had left, and scared that they would forget him.

"I'm sorry Damian, it's just, why does it has to be you? It's so unfair..."

Damian knew life was unfair, but not for him, but for his family, for his siblings and his father, they had already lost people, lost Damian already, and they would loose him again, and Damian wasn't going to do anything to change it. He deserved it, and he had already got another chance to live, it would be too much.

Damian just hugged Dick, trying to comfort the eldest.

"I'm sorry" Damian said.

***

A couple of days passed after it, it had been a week since Thalia had told Bruce about Damian's state.

Damian hadn't patrolled in almost an entire month, and Gotham had noticed it. People were fast at noticing it and making theories, seriously, those people didn't had anything better to do.

Some of the people said he was dead, some said he had moved and didn't wanted to be Robin anymore, just like what happened with Richard.

Damian couldn't take it anymore. 

His father was down at the cave, he was about to put his suit on, when he noticed Damian being there.

"Damian, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be asleep."

"I don't have school tomorrow father..."

Bruce raised an eyebrow, he already had an idea of what his son wanted, but still waited for him to speak.

Damian took a breath and looked his father directly into his eyes with a poker face.

"I still want to go to patrol father"

Bruce stayed silent, his son had been telling him for days, and he knew it wasn't going to be long until he found a way to go solo, and Bruce didn't wanted to risk it.

"Fine, just because I know you will end up going one way or another."

Damian opened his eyes as he stood up to run towards his Robin uniform. Bruce stopped him before he reached it. He could see the light on his son's eyes, a light that had been gone for almost a week.

"But I need you to promise me that you will tell me when it has become to much, I wouldn't like to loose you even sooner."

He nodded, this time, unlike so many other times he had been sick or injured, he wasn't lying.

"I will father."

Bruce smiled at his son.

***

Robin was struggling after a couple of hours.

Batman hadn't took his sight out of his boy, Damian hide it well while fighting, but in the moment they had to run and swing through the city he was slower than normal.

They stopped at one of the rooftops, to let Robin catch up his breath.

"You ok Robin?"

Robin nodded.

Batman glared at him, he knew he wasn't telling the truth.

"Nothing out of normal, I just need a few minutes and I'll be ready."

The vigilante nodded and took a look to Gotham, she looked darker than usual. But that was probably because of the way last week had been.

None of them had had it easy, specially Damian, (And Dick, but he had already talked to his eldest son), even if his youngest tried to act as normal as he could, maybe just more nicely than usual.

Batman started thinking about what he could do to cheer his son up, maybe it would help with his health too.

He knew what he was going to do.

"Robin, how long has it been since you patrolled with Superboy?" He asked to his son.

He could almost see the excitement his son was trying to hide through his mask.

It wasn't hard to plan a patrol for both boys, Clark was very happy when Bruce called him to ask if Jon could come to Gotham for patrolling. Apparently Jon had been asking nonstop about Damian and Clark didn't really knew how to tell Jon about Damian's condition. And Bruce knew Clark wasn't good at lying to his son, he was surprised he had been that good so far to respect Damian's privacy.

He wanted the boys to patrol in Gotham so he could keep and eye on Damian, not that he didn't trust Clark to keep an eye on his son in metropolis, but he just wanted to be cautious.

The day finally arrived, and Damian couldn't see the time when Jon would arrive to the place they had agreed.

For once in his life, he saw the boy with the S meeting him on time.

"Damian! Good to see you! I was getting worried about you, I haven't exactly heard about you in the last couple of days." Jon told him as he landed in a rooftop near him.

"Names Superboy, and don't you have superpowers to hear anything?"

Superboy rolled his eyes. "Yes Robin, I do have superpowers, but you always talk about privacy and stuff that-"

"So the fact that my house is specifically designed you you supers can't hear us does not have something to do with it."

"Well maybe."

Damian almost smiled at Jon's pout, almost.

"Anyways, it's good to see you Robin."

"It's good to see you too Superboy."

***

Damian's 16th birthday finally arrived, he knew they would throw a gala at night, but at least he could enjoy the rest of the day with his family, this time even Cass, Steph and Duke were coming, and so would Jon and Collin, who had convinced his adoptive parents to let him go to Gotham and visit him.

For the first time in all the years that he had lived with his father, the man had let him skip school for his birthday. He just had to promise to do all the work that they would do today and homework. At least Maps could help him passing him the notes.

"Good morning Master Damian" Alfred woke him up as usual, but this time he walked towards his grandson and hugged him. "Happy birthday boy, you've grown so much..."

Damian hugged the man, Alfred almost never did such showings of affection, he wanted to remember this one for the rest of his days. The man had always been for him when the rest of the family wasn't.

His birthday breakfast was already waiting for him in the kitchen, which was some pancakes with vanilla ice cream and sparkles, and incredible bid amount of sugar, but Damian did not cared for once. 

They had put a candle on it.

"Happy birthday little D!" Dick yelled happily.

"I'm not deaf Richard, I can hear you just fine without you screaming." Damian didn't tried to hide his smile.

"But why not, my little brother is all grown up! I have to say that it did helped you...you were kind of ugly when you first arrived."

"Hey!"

Dick laughed as he hid behind Tim, who was still sleepy because he hadn't took his coffee yet.

Damian was about to chase the acrobat when his father put a hand on his shoulder.

"Why don't you go and blow your candle? You wouldn't like to eat your pancakes cold would you?" He said with a smile and then glared at Dick.

Dick silently thanked him and took a seat at the table.

All of them started singing happy birthday, and as always, Damian didn't knew what he was supposed to do, was it like that for everyone? Or just for him because of all the happy birthday songs he had missed? He silently and awkwardly waited for his family to finish and make a wish.

"Sweet Sixteen Dames! What did you wished for?" 

"It's a secret, wishes aren't supposed to be told." Damian answered his siblings.

His father eventually had to leave to WE, promising to be back as soon as possible for his birthday lunch at the garden.

The rest of the morning went by pretty fast, Damian took Titus out on his morning walk, accompanied by Tim, who didn't talked much with him as usual, he was mostly there in case he started to feel bad.

When Damian arrived back at the manor he checked the mailbox to see if his mother had sent him anything. They didn't had the best relationship recently, but she had sent some birthday gifts...including a dead robin, but it was better than nothing to know she was ok...in her weird murderous assassin way of ok.

Nothing came, Alfred promised to tell him if something arrived.

Collin arrived a couple of hours later, his parents told Damian they would come back for him at 7 pm, because they had to take an airplane tomorrow morning. Damian knew that Collin's parents didn't liked him, but Damian had told Collin about his 'sickness' and they had told his parents that Damian was ill, which wasn't a lie, so they understood that Collin would want to see him again.

"Here! I bought you this!" They were some color pencils, Damian analyzed them more closely, they were handmade color pencils, the quality wasn't the best one, but the colors were incredible and varied.

"I made them myself" Collin said proudly with a smile, "I remember how much you like art and I asked my uncle if he could teach me after I saw him doing one for his daughter."

Damian almost hugged him right there. "Thank you, I like them."

Collin understood what Damian really meant.

They both started talking about stuff and decided to play video games while waiting for the rest to arrive, surprisingly, Jon wasn't too late, he arrived with his parents, who were also invited, and almost tackled the birthday boy.

When finally everyone (including the girls, and some of his sibling's friends) arrived, they got to garden, were they had already placed a picnic place for them to eat, there were also some decorations like balloons (thanks to Dick) a table for the gifts and a table for drinks and food. It was pretty simple, but it was exactly like Damian had wanted it.

The time to open the gifts came, Jon got him a new video game, Jason got him a katana, Bruce a violin he asked, Dick had told him he would take him to the new zoo and art gallery for his gift, some of the other have brought him stuff like clothes, money, art stuff, and gift cards. 

"Hey where's Tim?" Someone finally asked when everyone had gave him their gifts but him.

"Over here!" Damian turned around to look at his brother, who was holding a little puppy on his arms with a green necklace.

"Found her on a shelter, her name's Ari."

Damian didn't even tried to hide his excitement, his eyes opened as he got closer to the dog. He looked at Tim, as if asking if he could carry her.

"Here, she's yours after all, I thought Titus would like a friend to play with."

"Yes, Titus most certainly will." Damian smiled, for the rest of the party he didn't let go of Ari, who didn't minded much."

A couple of more hours passed, and Damian was taking to Jon and Collin, when he looked at Tim and Jason, who gave him a look.

"I hate when you do that, it's like if you could understand everything between you with one look." Collin said.

"Yeah sometimes I'm pretty sure you bats have powers to read minds...and been scary." Jon joked.

"Tt. Stop being foolish, now carry take Ari for some minutes while I do something."

He didn't cared to hear his friends' answers, and went directly to Dick.

"Richard come help me with the cake." Dick didn't doubted for a second and followed the teen.

"So, Dami, you enjoying the party?" 

"It's...acceptable." Damian opened the kitchen's door. "Thanks."

Dick smiled, after all he had organized it too.

Damian looked at the clock, the walk to the kitchen had been around 5 minutes, that would make 10 in total, he hoped it was enough.

"What are you looking at?"

He looked at his brother quickly "uh, it appears Pennyworth already took the cake to the garden."

Damian grabbed Dick's hand and pulled him out of the kitchen. Dick thought it was weird, but didn't said anything.

When they arrived to the garden no one was there.

"Huh weird." Dick thought out loud. Then he looked at a little paper in the table, it said something like "terrace".

Both started walking there, Tim stopped them a few meters away. 

"I need to cover your eyes Dick." 

Damian could tell Dick was getting nervous. "It's a surprise we planned for you."

"For me? But it's your birthday little D." Sick raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, but I swear you'll like this one."

Or at least we hope you will. Damian thought.

Dick finally agreed to cover his eyes and was guided by his you get brothers to the terrace.

Tim and Damian left Dick in his place and stepped back.

"You can take it off now." Tim said.

Dick did, and he was absolutely not expecting whet he saw. 

They were in the terrace, there were some candles and lights decorating the place, there were some decorations and some dinning tables. And a bar.

"What-" then he looked at her, Barbara was in front of him with a box on her hands.

Barbara opened the box, it had a nice simple ring on it. "Dick, my best friend, my boyfriend, my partner, you have seen the best and the worst of me, we have been through many things together, you're the person who I have spent most of my life with and I want to spend the rest of our crazy sometimes-amazing-sometimes-shitty-life's with. Would you marry me?"

Dick didn't even answered and to kiss her.

"Is that a yes?" Barbara answered after they broke the kiss.

"That's a yes."

A second party started, Dick and Barbara's friends arrived, and so did commissioner Gordon, he gave Dick one of the "don't you dare hurt my daughter" speech again.

"Damian it's time to get ready." His father told him after they both went to say goodbye to Collin. Bruce looked at his face and sighed. "I know you don't enjoy them either, but I promise every cent I spend on this gala, I will try to double it to the animal shelters."

Damian seemed happy with that answer, at least Jon had accepted to go a while because his parents were going to cover it for the newspaper.

"Tell your siblings that's time, we should leave Dick and his friends at their own party."

***

The gala went uneventful until past midnight. The gala was at the ballroom, which was far enough from the terrace where Dick and Barbara were.

Damian and Bruce were the only bats left, the rest had went to patrol, and Jon and his parents had already left.

The only interesting thing that had happened were when Jon accidentally crashed with a woman and made her spill her drink on her dress.

She almost killed Jon right there until Bruce intervened and offered to pay the damage to the dress, which wasn't even much more than a couple of drops.

His father had also gave an speech, and there had been cake, not even close to Pennyworth's.

Actually Damian was just waiting to find his father to tell him he was going to his room, he was tired. This was already tiring before. Now it made him feel tired and with a headache.

He found his father outside the ballroom, he was serious and looking at something in his phone.

Damian was able to read the headline, "Big explosion in Nanda Parbat." It wasn't a newspaper, it was a Batman file, and it had a picture below, the league's HQ were completely destroyed.

Suddenly everything started to feel hotter for some reason, his headache was worse, now he was feeling nauseous and dizzy, he had to use a wall to not fall, that's when his father noticed him.

"Damian, are you ok?!" He put his phone on his pocket and grabbed his son before he felt.

***

A couple of minutes later and they were at Damian's room Damian had asked his father about the file, and Bruce knew he couldn't dodge the question now.

"Apparently your grandfather used the pit, and as Thalia told us, she used that chance."

"In other words they're gone." Damian said.

Bruce looked down. "Yes Damian, they're gone."

Damian bitted his lip to not show the tears that were menacing to come out.

"Do you want me to stay or-?" Bruce asked.

"Can you close the door when you leave please?"

His father nodded, he understood Damian just wanted some time alone to mourn in peace.

That night Damian dreamt with his mother and him on the beach at the island.

It was a nice memory,

***

As time started to pass by, Damian's symptoms started to get worse and increase, and in a matter of weeks, he wasn't able to be Robin anymore. Damian had already accepted that. Not that it changed the fact that it hurt.

People started asking about his absence, they were still trying to decide what to say in public.

He still went to school, it wasn't that bad, but he wasn't able to do much physical effort.

Jon had been calling almost daily, Damian had been lying to him about what was going on, he told him first he had to go on a mission, but he couldn't lie for much more time, he had now told Jon he was sick.

Jon just didn't knew how sick he was.

"I'm going tomorrow, you can't avoid me anymore Dames."

"I'm not avoiding you Jon I just-" Damian resisted his sudden urge to vomit everything he had eaten that day.

"Nu huh, I'm going, there's nothing you can do to avoid it, I'm gonna stay to sleep too, oh and my mom made you vegetable soup because she says it helps when someone's sick, she was gonna make you chicken soup, but I remembered you're a vegetarian and-"

"Ok ok, I get it, no way I'm going to get rid of you now right?" Damian tried to sound annoyed but some happiness could be heard on his voice.

"Yep, see ya tomorrow!" Jon' exited voice said before he ended the call.

Damian looked at his father who was at his side reading the newspaper.

"Father, Jon's staying tomorrow."

"Yeah, Clark asked me about it." Bruce said.

"You knew? Why didn't you told me?"

Bruce just shrugged and continued reading.

"Damian, you do know you will have to tell him right?"

Damian already knew, but that didn't make it easier, he didn't want Jon to feel pity on him, he didn't want him to treat Damian different because he was dying. Just like most of his family had done when he had told them. 

He just sighed, he hoped Jon would act the same towards him for the rest of his days.

***

"Damian!" Jon did tackled him this time. Bruce and Clark were too slow to catch the boys, Damian could see the worry in his father's eyes. Damn it hurt. It caused Damian to cough a bit, but he controlled it.

"Sorry, I forgot you were sick..." Jon started.

Damian moved his hand in a sign to forget it. "Don't worry, I'm happy you're here." Jon blinked once, Jon blinked twice. Yep Damian had said that. He just shrugged and followed the boy who was already entering the manor.

Both teens decided to play first in the garden with Titus and talked about what's been going on recently.

"Damian you're already in what? 11th grade? You sure you don't like someone from your school? They are pretty girl, like that blonde-"

"Agnes Johnson?" Damian said in surprise, he had liked the girl a few months ago, but he never really told her. 

He just did a face as if he was going to puke and Jon started laughing.

They didn't touched the theme again and continued talking about the new video game that was coming out that year.

They returned back to the manor to eat diner, Damian was feeling sick, again and asked Tim to refill his bottle of pills.

After diner they both went to the TV room to play some video games and watch a movie. 

"Damn Damian, I know I'm good at this but seriously you've been loosing every battle against me."

"Jon I need to tell you something."

Jon paused the game and looked at Damian.

"I...about me being sick, I-" Damian took a deep breath. "I don't know how long I have Jon." He answered truthfully.

Jon smiled and almost laughed. "Damian it's just a common flu you'll be fine in-" He stopped and looked at his friend's face. "Damian please tell me you're joking."

"You know I don't joke with this."

Jon was afraid to ask. "How long?"

"A little before my birthday."

Jon nodded, Damian had know for almost three months, maybe a little more now. He knew that probably not a lot of people knew, so he tried to not yell at him for not telling him, even when he was hurt.

"My mother came and talked to my father. Apparently there's a certain Lazarus dependence I evolved from the amount of times I used them, but now there are no more Lazarus pits left...my mother made sure after she killed my grandfather and herself in the process."

"I'm sorry about them Damian..."

Damian just stayed silent. He had already accepted the fact that he would never see them again, which was a good thing about his grandfather, but he had mixed feelings about his mother.

"And is there a way to bring you back after that? Or a way to cure you?"

He shook his head. "Just a Lazarus put could make me live longer, but even then I would just have a few years more and I'll have to use it again. But there are none left." 

"And about bringing me back, I already told my family, even if they found a way to bring me back, I don't want it, I've come back enough times, it would be nice to just, rest you know?" 

Jon started tearing at that point, and Damian was trying to not do the same, his father came in to see what was happening.

"But why Damian? Aren't you scared of dying?"

At this point his brothers entered the room too, and Damian looked at them and decided to just spill it out.

"You don't understand...the first time I-died, I was barely old enough to be on kindergarten...of course that something I never did. And I failed to protect myself from the league. It was the first time grandfather sent me to the mountain. I was supposed to stay hidden from them until I was able to climb it all and then stay hidden for at least a week. I only achieved 5 days before I broke my arm, it didn't took long to them to find me."

Damian stayed quiet for a minute, remembering all the things he had gone through during that task. 

Dick out an arm on his shoulder and he continued.

"After they killed me i just remember waking up in the pit, mother was disappointed, the rest of them, including grandfather were mad." Damian coughed again, it was getting worst, but when Jon tried to help him he refused.

After the coughing fit he drank some water and cleared his throat.

His father got closer to him, "Damian you don't have to-"

Damian shook his head "Where was I? Oh right. The next time I died was no long after it, maybe a year and a half after, I was more...afraid of what they would do to me after I revived that about the fact of dying. I of course was correct, staying dead would have been better. It was the same for the next times I died."

Damian stayed quiet again, not knowing if he should admit out loud the next part, but he wanted his family to know his full history before he couldn't tell them, so he took a deep breath as tears menaced to appear. 

"Less than a year before I meet you father, I...tried to escape, well not escaping as running away, but I did try to use the fact that I was sent on a solo mission, I was given two weeks to complete it, I finished in one and a half. Instead of returning I retired to get as far as possible, hid me as well as I could, but I knew it wasn't possible to live escaping from the league, so I...I did what I thought I needed to do, I took my katana, and I-"

Dick covered his mouth and Jon almost went towards his best friend to hug him.

Bruce leaned to his son, and as if asking 'where?' Damian looked at his forearm and nodded, letting him take a look at the scars Damian had given himself not less than a year ago before he had meet him.

"Mother found me in a matter of days...and that was the last time I used the pit."

Bruce clenched his fists as he thought about how unfair life had been with his son, and he tried not to think about the fact of how he had treated his son when they had first meet, when he had only been in the pit 9 months before. He must had been full of it's rage. 

"Don't worry, I only did it a few times after I moved in, I never tried again. I stopped some years ago."

Jon remembered the time when he discovered Damian trying to cut himself after that one time he almost left with his grandfather and Damian's life was just a complete mess, he never thought he had done it much before, and that was the last time that Damian cut or tried to. Or at least that's what Damian kept telling him.

Finally Jon did hugged him this time, he hugged him as tight as he could and wished to stay with him for the rest of eternity like this, protecting him from anything that wished to hurt him.

But he knew that wasn't possible.

***

After some more time Damian had to stop going to school. Vicky Vale was starting to suspect something, but she didn't even knew what.

Jon still visited him once or twice a week at least. Winter was already arriving, and Dick's wedding was getting closer.

"OH MY GOD I GOT ACCEPTED!" He just heard Tim scream one day.

Damian groaned, he was in the sofa watching some movies about wizards and people without nose.

Tim almost jumped in top of him when he arrived.

"DAMIAN I GOT ACCEPTED!!" Damian got up from the soca to see his brother almost crying.

"You got accepted to what Timothy? I hope that it is a therapist because you're starting to worry me."

"Nonono, I got accepted at college, to the entire Ivy League!"

"Oh...those are the colleges you-?" 

"Yes! Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Columbia, all! I got into all of them!"

Damian was amused, he was surprised Tim could get into all those colleges even when he dropped out of high school for a time.

"I uh wow, congratulations Tim-"

He could say more, Timothy was hugging him for probably the first time in their lives and he hugged back.

They celebrated that day, they went to eat dinner and Tim invited Kon and Bart.

***

People's questions about Robin started to grow, he had never been absent that long, not only from Gotham, but no one in the world had seen him.

They decided to fake his death, fake an explosion in a place in the middle of nowhere, make a false case, leave some evidence that could be tied to Robin, and say there was no body. That it all burnt.

Jason joked that they were literally copy pasting his death excluding the Joker and his mother.

No one actually laughed at that, no one other than Jason.

It was weird, there was a funeral. His funeral. The Titans attended, so did the Justice League, citizens from different cities, not only Gotham. People cried.

His family and friends cried, even if he knew it was fake, Damian couldn't help but wonder if this was going to be how his real funeral would be, depressing, and people crying.

Commissioner Gordon said some words too. And they buried a coffin without body.

People normally didn't had a chance to attend to their own funeral, but Damian did. And he didn't liked it.

"I want sunflowers." He said that night when he was watching a movie with his brothers.

"Why do you want sunflowers?" Tim asked, they were the only two awake by that moment.

"Not right now, for my funeral, I want sunflowers." 

Tim looked at him as if he had grown a second head.

"I noticed that most people at the funeral brought white flowers, but sunflowers are more beautiful, they're happier...a little girl brought me a flower."

Tim blinked multiple times before answering. "Ok, you'll have sunflowers...anything else?"

Damian shook his head. "Maybe...could you put something green on the place? I like green." He yawned, he was already falling sleep.

"Sure."

***

It was Christmas, they had attended a Christmas Eve gala the day before, and most of the family had stayed to sleep after that. Duke and Cass were the only two missing because of a mission, but the rest were there.

It wasn't a good day, Damian was feeling bad, but he decided to not tell the rest to not ruin the fun. 

After diner they decided to go to the back of the manor and play in the snow, Steph convinced Damian somehow to slide with her. Ari and Titus were always following them.

Damian enjoyed it, he liked it, after some more slides he finally convinced the others to let him try to do it alone. 

The moment they pushed him down the little hill, he knew he had made a mistake. 

He had started feeling worst because of the physical effort he had been doing, some little spots appeared on his vision , he tried to stop, just like they had told him to.

Shit shit shit, stop stop!

His heartbeat started going faster, he couldn't stop the sled, he looked at the tree that was a few meters away from him, and decided to jump.

He blacked out after that.

When the rest notice that Damian wasn't slowing down they knew something was wrong. Dick started running towards his brother the moment he realized that.

"Damian!" He screamed his name when he saw the boy jump from the sled. Ari was at his side and Titus was running towards Dick.

His concern grew when his boy wasn't moving. Dammit, when had this hill got so big?

Titus encouraged him to go faster.

By the moment he arrived Damian had passed out, the boy was laying in the snow, he couldn't really see any injuries other than a scratch on his left arm.

The rest were already there by the time he was carrying Damian.

"We have to take him inside, the cold won't make any good to him."

Bruce decided to call Leslie, as she had been treating every Lazarus sickness related stuff.

She sighed, she couldn't even get Christmas free with that family, but she got there as fast as she could.

Leslie was already there when Damian woke up. And Ari was at his side.

"You gave us quite a scare young lad." Alfred said handing him a mug with tea.

"Your temperature is fine, it's good that you were wearing all that winter stuff and weren't long in the snow, other than that I need you to tell me what happened."

Damian explained Leslie that he hadn't been feeling well that day and that he was very tired when he was playing outside and then passed out.

Bruce frowned. "You should have told us. You promised."

Damian just lowered his sight.

"I fear that Damian shouldn't make any physical effort, even things like playing in the snow and taking long walks, whenever he's feeling very tired he should use a wheelchair or get to his bed if he's feeling way too tired."

This was something Damian wouldn't take easy.

"How-? I...No! I refuse to use that horrible chair and rest in bed! I don't want to become a useless invalid-" He looked at Barbara who was glaring at him.

"No offense to you Gordon, you're actually pretty useful and capable." 

"Some taken."

Dick sighed. "Damian, you have to understand that it's for your own good, we don't want to have an accident-"

"Just leave."

His family looked at him.

"Don't you understand?! LEAVE ME ALONE!" He threw a pillow at them, but even that was too much of an effort. "I HATE THIS I HATE YOU."

His family left. Steph closed the door behind her and gave him a sad look.

It was probably the first time Damian exploded like that with everything that had been happening, and for him being Damian, the rest knew that he was making an incredible effort. But this was probably the first time he started to yell at them about it.

Damian didn't got out much for some days, Alfred always entered to give him his meals and his pets were always with him. The rest weren't able to enter.

Damian didn't knew if he wasn't going out because of his anger, the embarrassment of have yelled at them, or the nonstop headaches and tiredness.

It wasn't until new year that Damian finally got out of his room. His brothers were at the tv room were he found them, their happiness make Damian feel guilty for pushing them away, he had already told himself multiple times he didn't want to die in bad terms with someone.

"What make you come out?" Dick asked some hours later.

"I just...I felt guilty, I'm sorry for yell at you." He said.

"Hey, don't worry, I get that it's difficult."

Their talk was interrupted by Jason and Steph screaming that there was only one minute left before midnight.

Fireworks could be seen from other house near by that was having a party, Damian covered his pet's ears.

After it all passed they celebrated, they let him drink a cup of champagne with everyone else, and Jason started with the jokes about not doing something since last year. Steph and Dick joined him.

Damian sweared that if he heard one more joke about that he would punch someone in the nose.

After the celebration stopped Damian decided to go to sleep, Dick followed him to tell him goodnight.

"Thank you Dick. Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year Damian."

***

Dick's and Barbara's wedding was on January 9th. It was medium sized, all the league were there, and so were the multiple friends and teams Dick had. There were also some citizens that were there because of commitment, but it wasn't that big.

Gordon's wheelchair was pushed by his father down the aisle, Dick cried. Barbara tried not to because of ruining her makeup. Bruce didn't cried, but he did but his lip during most of the ceremony, and Damian took it as something similar.

The ceremony was shorter than usual. Or at least Damian felt like that, he didn't knew, he didn't really went to a lot of weddings.

The rest of the day, and night, was watching adults drinking and trying to dance, emphasizing the trying. Seriously, American people sometimes couldn't even go at the rhythm of the song. There were some exceptions of course.

Bruce told him that Dick and Barbara had postponed their honeymoon so they could spend the rest of Damian's time near him. Damian felt a little guilty, but Rick and Barbara had insisted, and a little, selfish part of Damian actually liked that, he like the feeling that his older brother cared that much about him to stay.

"Damian can I talk to you-?" Dick came to ask him after midnight, they both left the family table and went to a more quiet place further from the loud music and people dancing.

By that time of the night Pennyworth had forced him literally to use the wheelchair because he was pushing himself too far, Damian had refused at first, but it was either that or the bed, and he couldn't bring the bed to the party.

"Father told me you and Gordon will postpone your honeymoon."

"Uh, yeah, that was actually something I wanted to tell you."

"What's the other thing?" Damian asked.

"Just wanted to check how were you doing, I know you normally don't get along with loud noises and big groups of people."

Damian knew what Grayson was talking about, a thing about growing up in the league is getting PTSD, and it usually didn't go well with parties that were this noisy.

"Tt. I'm fine." Damian answered him brother and showing him some earplugs that Tim had given to him. "This have been working well so far."

Dick nodded. "I'm glad, well, we should get back to the party don't you think?"

Damian nodded. "Just one more thing, I wanted to tell you...that my birthday wish came true."

Dick stopped walking. "What? What was your birthday wish? To me to get married?"

"Tt, of course not. Dick, I actually wished to be alive to see it."

His brother gave him a smile.

"Now, I also wanted to tell you that Bruce and Alfred told me to get you to bed young man, so..."

"Not fair Grayson!"

Dick just laughed as he pushed his wheelchair back to the manor.

Bruce had installed a little elevator a few months ago for Barbara to use, now it had came in handy for Damian too.

Dick helped Damian get ready much to Damian's protests and got him to bed.

"Tt, I feel like a child." He said pouting.

Grayson laughed as he sat on the bed at Damian's side.

"Shouldn't you be at your wedding?"

"Believe me some of them are far too drunk to realize I've been gone for thirty minutes."

Damian didn't said anything.

Both of them stayed silent for some minutes until Dick spoke. "Damian you're still awake?"

"Hmmh"

"Uh about, you wish...of being alive to see my wedding. I-I wanted to ask you a question...something you said the other day with Jon here. How is it that you're not scared of dying?" Dick finally asked. "Even if I was old, the idea of death...it terrifies me."

Damian shrugged.

"I guess I'm not scared of dying...I'm scared of going back to hell." Damian said finally, he had known that for a long time, but he had never admitted out loud. The first time he had been scared of dying, the next times it had been about coming back, and the last time he had been scared of dying again. But this time? This time he was scared he wasn't good enough to make it to heaven.

Dick hugged him while Damian continued talking.

"Dick...do you think I will go to Hell again?" He whispered to his brother. "I dont wanna go to Hell again...but I dont wanna come back either to life...I think it would be nice to rest for once you know?"

"Of course you won't be going to Hell, I can be sure about that, you have done bad things, but you have made incredible things both as Damian and Robin, I know you're a person with a golden heart, and you've already paid for what you did by going to hell. I'm sure you will go to Heaven, you probably deserve it more than me."

"But how can you be so sure?"

"I guess it's because I know you."

***

It was on Thursday, January 21 that Damian left this world.

He had been on bed the last week, Jon and his family came to visit almost every day. He didn't had much energy left to get up from bed, Tim made an special drug for him so he wouldn't be in pain that last days. 

Damian thought it wasn't that bad, he had a mostly great life, he was grateful that he was able to have enough time to say goodbye to everyone.

The last day he had on earth he laid on his bed, and looked at everyone, he could see their emotions, most of them were sad, Damian was happy that sad was just an emotion that wouldn't last forever, and he wished and hoped that his family could remember him as a happy memory after a few months of grieving. He wanted them to be happy.

They knew he wouldn't survive the night. 

Tim had brought him a sunflower that was at his side.

Damian was okay with that. He was scared of going to Hell, but he wanted to believe Dick's words.

He could feel his eyes taking longer to open again every time he closed them. 

He knew every breath he took could be his last.

He was scared,scared of what would come next.

His father put a hand on top of his hand, and looked at him with a small smile.

"It's okay, we love you Damian, I love you son." He had tears on his eyes.

And by looking again at his family, he realized, maybe Dick wasn't lying, maybe he would be able to go to Heaven after all.

Was that possible? A sinner among saints?

Maybe it was after all.

And he finally exhaled his last breath.

People said that you have 7 seconds to remind the best moments of your life.

Damian loved it all again, his days as an infant with his mother before the league training. Patrol with Dick as Robin and Batman, the ice cream place they use to go to after a rough day.

Then patrol with his father, the excitement he got when his father started to open to him. 

The time he meet Jon. And all the times they played and went out as Robin and Superboy.

The times he was with his friends and felt like a normal child. Or the times he played with his pets at the garden or took a walk with them.

The cinema with Duke.

Chess with Alfred.

Solving cases with Tim.

Punching people with Todd.

Making pranks to Dick with Steph.

Learning sign language with Cass.

His birthday, the wedding, the last months.

He was happy he was able to get a second chance and live it all.

He catch a glimpse from the other side, he could see his grandparents waiting for him, he could see Dick's parents there too.

The other times he had died during the League he hadnt been able to be dead long enough to end up in Hell or Heaven.

Damian had ended up going to Hell the last time he died.

But now he knew he could rest, he had payed for his sins, for the monstruocities he had done during his lifetime. He was finally in Heaven, and he would be for the rest of eternity, he looked back he could see a projection of his death body, with his family crying and mourning as they realized he was gone.

He watched the sunflower in the window, they would be okay, there would be happiness after some time of grieving.

"Dont worry." He said looking at his family one last time. "Im fine, but please take your time, I will be waiting for you." 

Because he knew they would come to Heaven too, if a sinner like Damian was able to go to Heaven, saints like his family would be able too.

He walked towards the light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG IM DONE FINALLY!! THIS GOT LONGER THAN I THOUGHT SERIOUSLY, I PLANNED A ONE SHOT OF MAXIMUM 3k NAD IT GOT TO 10k+
> 
> ALSO IM GONNA BE HONEST WITH YALL THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I TEAR WRITING SOMETHING


	2. Still with us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damian never understood why people talked to dead people...until he dies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s uh 4 am

Damian never understood why people missed someone when they passed away.

Probably it was because of the fact that his family always had the Lazarus Pit, it never was a problem when his mother or grandfather passed away, no matter what, they always came back.

So it wasn't a surprise they he didn't seem to understand why Richard was so sad that day.

It was April fools day, the first day of the month, Damian had heard that people were supposed to make jokes and pranks at each other during the day.

Damian wasn't interested to do such childish things, but he had hope that at least his older brother would love to.

***

He had woke up early, the sun wasn't up yet, but he couldn't sleep, and he was being careful to not fall in any of his brother's pranks.

He stayed at his room for nearly an hour, sketching or practicing with his sword, until it was breakfast, and Pennyworth made him go down stairs.

His father and Drake were already at the table, discussing some Wayne Enterprises matter, but Dick was nowhere to be seen.

Dick had arrived a few days before, apparently he had took some days of from his police work at Bludhaven.

"Master Dick wont be coming to breakfast, I'll be delivering his food at his room if you excuse me."After that the old butler exited the room.

"I was not aware that Grayson was sick."Damian said, thinking that it was probably why his brother didn't pranked someone yet...or maybe he was just waiting for the perfect time to do a huge prank and he wasn't really sick, he just wanted people to think so.

"He isn't sick, it's just that it's a really difficult and painful day for your brother, you should probably leave him alone for a while."His father said.

Of course Damian didn't follow his father's advice.

After breakfast he decided to go upstairs and look for his brother, he wasn't worried, at all, he was just...seeing if it wasn't a charade so he could do a prank, yes, that's it, he wasn't worried, not a bit...

Not at all.

Damian kept walking until he stopped at Dick's room door. He started thinking if he should come back later, or knock the door...or just leave instead of just staring at the door for so long.

Finally he decided to knock the door.

"Grayson, may I come in?"

No answer.

"Richard? Are you in there?"

Again no answer.

"Dick?"

He decided to open the door, maybe he was just being paranoid and Dick wasn't even there, but he was kinda worried.

When he opened the door, the first thing he noted was that the place was dark, the windows were closed, and the lights were off.

Damian was about to leave when he suddenly noted something moving at his brother's bed.

"Grayson? Are you ok?"

There wasn't any answer from the young adult, so Damian decided to come closer.

He could hear a few sobs coming from Dick.

"Richard?? A-Are you crying?"

The 10 years old boy didn't knew what to do, clearly emotions where Dick's thing, not him! What was he supposed to do when the only member of the family that knew something about feelings was the one crying?

"Is...is it okey if I come closer?"

He didn't get an answer, not that he cared, he sat at the end of his brother's bed and looked at him.

Suddenly he looked at his brother, noticing that he was looking at a poster on the wall.

The flying Graysons

Damian glared at the poster, weren't they Grayson's parents—?

"What do you want Damian?"

Damian, not Dami, not Dames, not even Little D, just Damian, something was clearly bothering his brother. 

What had father said? A really difficult and painful day-? 

Dick must had noticed Damian's expression.

"I'm...I'm sorry, it's just that...I miss them, you know?"

Oh, Damian thought.

Now he remembered, today was April first,  
The day that the flying Graysons died.

"I...I didn't knew it was today, sorry, I should probably leave you alone" Damian said, thinking that it was probably the best.

But before Damian got up Dick grabes his hand.

"No, please, it's ok...actually it's better if you stay with me"

Damian didn't said anything, he just stayed at his brother's side, he didn't knew much about emotions or mourning someone's death...the only time he did was when his father 'died', it was a time when he didn't knew him that much, and even him got back...so he never actually had to miss someone.

But if him staying made Richard somehow happier he would do so.

***

He stayed with him for hours, they both ate at Dick's room, they slept and watched some movies that Dick used to watch with his parents.

After a while Dick asked Damian to follow him to the graveyard to go at his parent's graves.

Damian watched how Dick 'talked' to his parents in Romani, his mother language.

He talked about his police work, Nightwing stuff, some fun anecdotes with friends and family, mission and pretty much everything that happened since the last time he visited them.

The former Robin placed some flowers at their graves, and then looked at Damian and told him to come over at his side.

He started talking in English, "Mom, Dad, this is Damian, my little brother, Bruce's son, do you remember how I mentioned him last time I came here?"

Damian looked genuinely surprised, "Did you talked them about me?"

"Of course I did! I talked about everything we do together, the time I got you some ice cream, or your beautiful sketches you love to draw"

"But why? Why spend so much time talking to someone who already passed away? How do you know they can hear you?"

Dick stayed quiet for a second before answering.

"Because, little D, they never are truly gone, a part of them stays here, with us, watching us and taking care of us"

Damian never forgot that.

***

It had been a long time since that day, when he and Damian stood at his parents day, a lot had happened since.

Damian and Dick both grew up, 

Damian stopped killing, making an effort to honor his father's principles.

And eventually...

Damian died.

Killed by his own clone, his brother, by his mother's orders.

He died after protecting Dick.

And Dick missed him so much even since.

He didn't got to say goodbye, he woke up and then he realized...

His little brother was gone, murdered, while Bruce cried with his little body in his arms.

Dick couldn't stand being at his grave.

It was too much, so painful, he had lost another person he cared about and he couldn't do anything about it.

"Hey little D...I...I know I haven't come too much here...it's just so hard...I..."

Dick didn't think he could finish a sentence without starting crying, but still, he continued.

"I wasn't the brother I was supposed to be, I wasn't there...I wasn't there to protect you..."

Tears started going down his face.

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry...but I just wanted to say, that I love you, I really did...and I really do..."

The young adult stayed at his little brother's grave for hours, talking to him, even when he knew that Damian couldn't answer back, but it felt right, it felt right to talk to him, just as he did that day with his parents.

"I miss you Dames..." that was the last thing he said before standing up and going back to the manor.

Little did he knew, that there was a little ghost, that had heard everything he said.

"Tt, I guess you were right Grayson"

"I guess we never really leave after all"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first one shot I wrote in wattpad, most one shots aren’t too long, except for “Lazarus dependence” 
> 
> You can check my other stories in wattpad as @inesucag


	3. Overstrain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damian is left alone for some days. He trains...too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was shyshy1798 (in wattpad) idea, thank you!!  
> Damian is around 16 in here.

Damian was staying alone for the rest of the month. Not that he cared at all, but all of his family had important missions to do and Alfred took some vacations to England because of personal matters.

His father had an off-world duty with the Justice League.

Grayson had a thing about Wally, there was a chance they could probably get him back, so he left as quick as possible.

Todd didn't even lived at the manor, but he had something about taking down a huge cartel thing at Mexico.

Drake had something to do with the Teen Titans, and he was going to stay with them for the rest of the month.

And the girls...well he wasn't quite sure about what they were supposed to be doing, but they were also busy.

So that was it, just Damian and his pets, having all the house for himself.

It was also summer vacation so he didn't had any school or something to do, at first he decided to call Jon or Maya or Colin...but they were to busy with summer vacations, so he stayed alone.

***

It was a good thing he had the bat cave training system for himself now, there was no 'it's my turn now' or 'don't push yourself too much, you have to rest'

He was an Al Ghul, raised to fight until his last breath, there was no resting, not completely.

So that's what he did during the month...training and patrolling.

***

It had been a month now, today was the day Tim was coming back, apparently so was Alfred, Jason and his father.

Damian kinda forgot about it, he had being training for the last couple of hours...or more, he wasn't quite sure about how long it had been already.

So when his family arrived and didn't found him at his room, or anywhere at the manor, they got scared.

The weren't the bats for nothing, they had to be paranoid.

Bruce decided that it was better to look at his locator to look for his son.

He was at the cave.

He went downstairs after taking a bath, he could hear the training robots on.

"Damian, son, we're ho-"

Damian was at the floor, he probably passed out, but then the robots where getting closer to him, with a katana over his head.

"TRAINING SIMULATION OFF"

The computer shouted down all the robots just a few inches before the katana cut Damian.

Bruce ran towards his son.

"D-Damian?? Son?!"

He grabbed his son, he noticed that he was paler and skinnier, he probably hadn't eaten something for days, the dark circles under his eyes told him that he probably hadn't rested as well.

"Bruce are you alright?" He heard Tim calling him from the stairs. "Omg what happened to Damian?"

"Tell Alfred to come over to the med bay, we gotta help Damian"

Tim did as told.

"Dames, what did you do?"

***

Damian felt light headed...the last thing he remembered was him training and then hearing his father and then-

Oh he passed out didn't he?

He opened his eyes, he was at the med bay in the cave.

He tried sitting down, but before he could he felt a hand putting him down again.

"Don't even try, you are too weak to do that"

"What-?" He turned his head to look at the voice.

Drake.

"You overstrained yourself, you were lucky we got here in time or you would probably be worst."

"How long did I-?"

"3 days kid, damn, what did you even do to yourself? When was the last time you even rested?" Todd...he could hear Todd's voice saying that.

"I-I...I think Tuesday?" He didn't really knew, the days just went to fast between patrolling and training.

He could swear he heard Tim rolling his eyes.

"Next time, leave that to me, don't even try to steal my tittle" He said with a smirk on his face.

"I don't think that's a think to brag about Tim"

"Richard? When did you..."

"Yesterday, you got me worried after Bruce called me to tell me my little brother apparently didn't rested or ate anything for the last weeks"

"I...I'm sorry, I didn't meant to worry you, I just..."

"Dames don't worry, it's nothing to be sorry about...just if you promise to don't ever do it again" Dick interrupted him while hugging him.

"Yeah, not kidding kid, you got Dickhead worried a lot..."

"Jason is just to 'tough' to admit that he was worried too...and so was I" Tim said. "Still you gotta promise us that you won't do it again."

"Ok...I-I promise."

And for the first time in the month, Damian felt that people truly cared about him.

And he felt truly happy about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry some of the chapters are this short, I wrote them around may 2020, so I have been trying to write longer one shots each time. (It doesnt always works)


	4. Consecuences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, you guys remember that issue where Damian is like shot on his back multiple times and he gets paralyzed so Thalia replaces his entire spine?? Then he was on a wheelchair and was forced to move and defend himself and fight, even when the doctors had told him that he shouldn't because his new spine wouldn't get healed properly?? Well it got me thinking about this...
> 
> Damian is 14.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This looks me shot we’re actually two one shots in wattpad and I decided to put them together

It all started Monday morning. Damian hated Mondays, specially on the morning, It meant he had to go to school even when he already knew all that stuff, he didn't exactly understood why his father insisted on him going to Jonathan's school, he knew he was far too advanced.

Still, it didn't come to a surprise that it took him really long to get up from his bed, he had been fighting all night long with his father against all sort of crazy villains that escaped Arkham last month. It took them long enough, but finally they had put them all back into Arkham.

"Hey little D, breakfast's ready, hurry up or you'll be late for school!" Did he forgot to mention that his older 'brother' Dick was visiting because he had helped Batman and Robin as Nightwing? Well, he did.

"Hmmmph" Damian groaned, his face on his pillow "I'm coming!"

He really didn't want to, he had barely got any sleep during the last week, and today he had just got an hour.

He rolled over his bed so he could stand up.

While he was going down the stairs he almost tripped, he noticed as his leg didn't responded him for a second.

Ok, that was odd, but probably it was just from exhaustion. He thought. He should probably get some more sleep today now that they finally finished putting all those crazy people back to where the belong.

"Hey! Earth calling to Damian! Are you ready??" He felt Dick's hand in front of his face. "Alfred's waiting for you at the helicopter."

Great! He must had been daydreaming again. He didn't even noticed when he sat and ate breakfast.

***

When he got to the school Jon was waiting for him, as usual.

"Tt, do you really have to wait for me every time I arrive to school Kent?"

"The day you stop coming in a helicopter"

Damian glared at him.

"Hey! How many people can actually say they their best friends arrive everyday in a helicopter?!"

"You do remember you can fly Jon?"

"Yeah! But I can't get here everyday like that!"

Damian rolled his eyes, then they both entered to class.

***

Damian did not stopped having a weird feeling of numbness on both of his legs. During all class all that his legs were feeling was an odd numb feeling.

He decided to not think about it too much, he was perfectly fine, his mother had made sure about it before he was even born.

So he had nothing to worry about.

***

School ended and Damian's legs feeling hadn't go away, it was hard and weird walking, it took more effort than it should.

Walking wasn't normally pretty exhausting wasn't it?

"Hey Damian! You okay?"

"Tt, I'm perfectly fine Jon"

Jon looked at him, not quite sure if he should believe him.

Suddenly Damian had the urge to sit really badly, not as if he was gonna faint, but just as if his legs wouldn't respond why minute and he would fall.

But there weren't any seats, and Alfred was just landing the helicopter, a couple of minutes more and he would be able to sit inside it.

His legs weren't very happy with that.

He just, lost balance, his legs not responding to him and he felt.

"Dami! Are you ok??"

"Yes, as I told you before, I am perfectly fine Kent" he said while grabbing his friend's hand to get up.

Just that this time, he couldn't.

"Damian come on, Alfred already landed"

Damian was trying, he really was, but he couldn't feel his legs at all, he couldn't feel from his waist to his feet.

For just a moment, horror was written all across paje boy's face, Jon must have probably noticed this, as he asked again if he was right.

"I-I can't move my legs, it-it's probably because of exhaustion, just help me get to the helicopter"

Jon nodded, not being really sure about it. "Just let me take a look at it"

Damian shook his head.

Jon did it either way.

"Damian...I, I really think you should see a doctor...I don't think it's normal the way your spine-"

"Leave it Kent, if there was any problem I would know by now" after that Jon stepped away as he saw the helicopter starting to get up on the air.

By the time he got back to the manor his legs were responding again. He didn't said anything when Alfred had asked him, so he would probably would force him to get checked with him before patrol.

Damian went right upstairs to his room, not talking to anyone. He disappeared until dinner.

"Damian" His father called him "Alfred told me that this afternoon Jon carried you to the helicopter after you felt"

"I'm fine father, it was probably just because I was tired"

"Still I would like if Alfred got to check on you, I wouldn't want you to go patrolling while you are injured" Damian nodded, internally thinking about a way to skip that, at least until patrol was done. His father and him had been working on a major drug dealing and human traffic organization working on the worst parts of Gotham. There was no way a minor thing like a little injury or exhaustion was going to prevent it.

Even if he knew it could be something worst...specially after the thing that Jon had mentioned about his spine.

"Tt, nonsense, Kent is no doctor." He muttered underneath his breath.

***

It was already dark, he was putting on his Robin uniform, hopping that they would leave before Alfred or his father remembered about the checkup.

"Not so fast Master Damian, if my memory is right we do have a checkup before patrol"

"Well your memory could be failing Pennyworth, after all last time I checked you were a man of third age, it won't be necessary, you can go back to whatever you were doing"

"Last time I checked I was the one giving you the orders on the house, not the other way" Alfred said with almost no facial expression, then he continued saying "Now, if you could just sit on the medical bed to check you..."

Alfred was interrupted by an alarm on the cave. Bruce went to check what was going on

"Batman, here Oracle, you need to get going, they are starting with a massive deal of drugs and girls"

"Oracle, here Batman, copy that, on our way" He then turned to look at his son "Robin, we will have to wait until we get back to check you. Now, be honest, are you sure that you can go to this?"

Robin didn't hesitated, for once, he was grateful for his luck. "Of course father"

"Then we better get going"

***

That had not being a good idea. Not at all. Damian felt as if his body was screaming in pain, telling him to sit down, the thing was that he was scared. Maybe if he sat, he wouldn't be able to stand up again. So he didn't stopped moving, stopped fighting and stopped taking down men and freeing the girls that were in there.

He did that just as if his lives depended on that, concentrating only in that, trying to ignore the pain on his legs.

"Robin, enough" Batman said to him while he was beating several times the last man conscious...well not so much now that he stopped. "We better get back to the cave now, you have classes tomorrow"

"Tt"

With that they both started swinging around Gotham back to where they had left the Batmobile.

They were just a few blocks away when Damian felt a really sharp pain on his lower back, causing him to loose the grip of his rope, making him fall.

Batman could have swear he watched his son falling on low motion, first he heard how his son screamed on pain, when he looked at him he was already falling.

He doesn't know quite sure what was going through his mind other than saving his son. He just jumped towards him to catch him on the middle on the air and they both got through a window of some office building.

The building was dark and empty, it took him a moment to recover from the impact, he didn't have any serious injuries, he probably just had a few cuts from the glass.

He stood up and reached Damian, who was laying on the floor, at first he looked for any shot wounds, that would be the most logical reason of why he felt, but there weren't any.

"Robin, are you ok?"

He didn't got any response from him, so he deducted he was unconscious. Batman picked up his son and took him back home, worried that he was lying about being ok before.

***

When Damian woke up he felt dizzy, he realized he was at his room, but he could not really remember when they had got back from patrol.

The door was open, he could hear Bruce talking to someone...probably Dick or Alfred. He then heard his father saying. 

"How am I supposed to tell him that! You both know he will not accept that and he will probably end up hurting himself!" They were most likely talking about him.

Damian wasn't able to hear the rest of the conversation, as he was falling asleep again.

***

As he opened his eyes again he realized that this time he was not alone, his father was at the chair on his right, probably trying to not fall asleep.

"F-Father?"

Bruce straighten himself as he heard Damian calling him.

"Hey bud" He said as he walked towards him. "how are you feeling?" He said as he sat accidentally on top of his leg "Oops, sorry about that"

"About what?" He then realized his father had sat on top of his leg "I-I didn't felt anything"

Bruce took a deep breath, he didn't wanted it to be true, but he had to know. 

"Damian move your right leg please"

He tried, he did, put it wasn't working. Bruce realized that.

"Ok, now try to move your left one"

Same results, Damian felt like panicking. He couldn't move anything below his waist.

"Damian, bud, calm down" His father said.

Damian looked at him probably calling him crazy in more than 7 languages in the same moment, how was he supposed to calm down? What was he gonna do if he wasn't able to walk...omg he wouldn't...he couldn't be Robin anymore. His father would be mad at him for not telling him earlier and would kick him out of the manor, sending him back to the league, where he would probably would be murdered because he was useless.

Bruce took a deep, deep breath while putting his hand on his son's shoulder, relaxing him a bit. 

"Dames, look at me ok? We were coming back from patrol...you passed out and fell, I caught you and brought you here, then Alfred made a checkup on you. Y-Your spine is severely damaged, we think it must have something to do with the time your mother replaced it and you had to defend yourself with your spine like that...we think that it wasn't able to heal properly because of that...and it caused long term effect, I was hopping that it wasn't this bad, but Damian judging by the results..."

Damian shook his head repeatedly, he had tears on his eyes, he didn't want to hear it, he did not wanted it to be true...

"No..."

"I don't think you will ever walk again"

The tears started to fall across his face, he started shaking, he continued denying it, shaking his head as he felt his father's arms hugging him.

"Don't...don't worry, we will get through it"

This kinda relieved Damian, he had said we hadn't he?

"So you won't send me back to the league?"

Bruce looked at him surprised.

"No, of course I will not! I would never do that!"

Damian relaxed, maybe he wouldn't be able to be Robin anymore, but he could still manage, he could help just as Oracle does...and he would have his father and family with him.

***

A couple of things had happened since the accident.

But first of all being in a wheelchair shucked. Everyone looked at him with pity on their eyes, and retired to help him.

And nobody ever thought about the people in wheelchairs! Elevators being to small or too many stairs! He really didn't appreciated something so simple as walking when he should have.

(Believe me, I was in a wheelchair for a month and a half when I was nine, that was an eternity back then, it sucked to got to the cinema or to eat, or basically anywhere like that. But what it sucked the most was going for Halloween ;-;)

Not being Robin was also getting on his nerves.

Ever since the doctors said that he wouldn't be able to walk again, even the league's doctors, he would dream of walking, playing with his pets, patrolling with his family, he just dreamed of using his legs again.

He missed that so much it hurt.

The first couple of weeks he had been sleeping a lot, just so he could walk again at least in his dreams. But then his father decided that he needed a routine to get used to his new...condition.

Damian had never hated so much routines. He needed help to do anything, everyone treated him as if he was a porcelain jar. (Like the one he just broke the first day when he felt from the wheelchair, just don't tell Bruce).

The only one who treated him the same was Gordon because she knew about that. And he was deeply grateful for that.

"Damian, I believe it's time you go back to school." His father told him one day.

Damian agreed, he never thought that he would want to go back to that place, but right now it could be a way to distract himself, no matter how easy those classes were.

He started school again after a couple of months after the...accident. They had told the people that it had been a car crash were Damian got hit in the back.

Everyone believed that. And everyone stared at him.

Look, he wasn't used to be the most nice person before at school. But right now he did his best to not punch the guys who looked at him with a smile on their eyes. And not a nice one.

Just because he was in a wheelchair it didn't mean he wasn't dangerous.

"Dames! Hey! I've been waiting for you to show up!" Jon came running towards his friend.

Damian just smiled, he hadn't seen Jonathan since the last time he visited him, that was weeks ago and Damian hadn't even been able to control his wheelchair properly.

(I mean it's not that hard, but it get stuck a lot, you also need a lot of strength on your arms to do anything by yourself).

Jon didn't offered himself to push him, and he was happy with that, they both went to the lockers' room to talk for a bit.

As Damian looked around he could see people smiling at him with pity, others saying he deserved it, and then there were people seeing him with respect.

Classes finally started, his father had build an elevator for him in the school, as well as some ramps and stuff to make him easier to move.

He sat in the front of the classroom during all his classes.

Class eventually ended and he returned back to the manor. His family was down at the bat cave, and Alfred helped him to get down.

"-if we could go and enter here..." he heard Tim saying as he was showing Bruce some blueprints.

They both ignored his presence until Damian's chair gave away his position by making a creak.

"Damian, I didn't knew you were down here." His father said. "Is everything ok?"

Damian rolled his eyes, "Tt, of course father, I just wanted to see if I could do anything here to help."

"Oh no, we're just planning tomorrow's stuff, we will go to one of the mob's places to do some recognition and getting evidence on this new drugs that have been affecting a lot of people in Gotham." Tim answered, not really paying attention to him and taking some notes in the blueprints. "Shouldn't you be doing homework or something?"

"I already finished." He said as he got closer to take a look of the blueprints, but before he was able to, his father blocked his sight.

"Dames, why don't you go upstairs, I'll be there after we finish this."

Damian glared at the nothing, his father didn't wanted him on the mission, it had been like that since he got paralyzed.

He didn't said anything, Alfred just came to help him go upstairs to his room.

Next day was horrible, Damian woke up in pain. It was a bad day, on good days he wouldn't feel his legs a lot, but on bad days these would hurt, a lot.

"Master Damian, time to go to school." Alfred told him.

Damian didn't answered, too focused on trying to control the pain.

"Master Damian, do you want me to bring your meds?" Even with his high tolerance to pain he couldn't hide this, and much less to Pennyworth, he had learned that it was better to just tell him, since the last time he ignore that he got himself in this situation.

Alfred gave him some pain meds, and then called school to tell that he wouldn't be able to go today. It want a big problem, after all, Jon could just bring his homework to the manor on the afternoon.

All the day was blurry because of the meds, he had been sketching and drawing a lot, and at some point Jon came to play video games with him and give him do some homework.

When Jon finally left it was past dinner time, he had barely seen Bruce or Tim during the day, and it was just a couple of hours before they left for patrol.

He went downstairs through the elevator, and decided to go out, something he hadn't done much because he hated getting stuck in the grass with the wheelchair.

Titus followed him, he had been looking at his owner for the last couple of months, trying to play with him and not understanding what was that big thing he used, or why he groaned in pain sometimes when he jumped on him to play.

"Good boy..." Damian said as the Great Dane sat at his side, Damian was petting him with one hand, while using the other to sketch, it was a Friday, so he didn't care to spend some more time outside.

Some more hours passed, he knew that his father and Drake were returning from patrol, so he decided to go to the cave and check on them. 

He did his best to not fall in the ramp.

"Father? Drake? Are you in he-" he was interrupted by Alfred talking through the coms.

"I'll call master Dick, he can help you get out..."

Damian went to the batcomputer, where he was able to see their cameras, they were in a room full of people, trying to find a way out.

He then turned at the table, where the blueprints from yesterday were.

"Wait...I recognize this blueprints." Damian said. "This place is owned by my grandfather." 

"A, what did Rob-I mean D said?" Batman spoke.

"Batman, I know this blueprints, I know a way to get you out, uh...if you hit the west wall not very hard, but hard enough to make a hole, you'll see there's an empty room with a window on it, that's the nearest exit, that's also probably we're they have the evidence."

"Wait, no, I memorized completely the blueprints and there wasn't anything about a secret room." Red Robin said.

"Tt. Of course not! This is the league we are talking about. The league would never put everything on blueprints! They are not stupid, we just memorized everything." Damian said annoyed.

"Ok, we will try."

His father grabbed one of the mobsters and threw him to the wall Damian said, leaving a big hole on it.

**

After getting the evidence and leaving the place, Batman and Red Robin arrived back at the batcave. 

"We got the drug, now we just need to run some analysis." Bruce said.

"Well demon, that information was handy, but do you've got any idea of why your grandfather would own a mob's place?"

"I've got no idea, but knowing my grandfather those weren't monsters, they were some of his assassins doing some research with that drug, to use it on people."

"I knew those mobsters were too good to be just that." Tim said.

"You know, I can help from here, just like Oracle does."

His father turned his head to look at his son in that moment.

"Damian are you sure-"

"Of course, I have demonstrated that my condition does not affect the fact that I'm useful and can help you."

"Uh I hate to admit it, but the demon brat is right."

Bruce sighed, knowing that his son would find a way to fight crime a way or another, at least like that he would be able to keep an eye on him before he did something stupid.

"Ok, fine, you can help us, but what about a codename? We can't just call you D."

"Shadow, I like the name Shadow."


	5. Death memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damián discovers that Thalia and Ras are dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh I’m starting classes today again...I should be sleeping instead of posting this

It had all been a Monday morning. Pennyworth didn't woke up him to go to that he'll called school.

Last night his father and him had been patrolling, there hadn't been nothing much, at least to a place like Gotham, so they had ended it early so Damian could sleep some more before school.

Which was weird because when he woke up classes had already started, he should be in Spanish class by now, and his father hadn't said anything about missing school, his father was actually always reminding him the importance of school when Damian tried to convince his father he didn't need to go.

So yeah, it was disturbing to say at least that they had let him sleep instead of taking him to school. 

Damian feared the worst when he realized he didn't heard anyone in the manor.

He jumped out of bed, noticing his pets were not at his side.

Maybe Pennyworth took them out and the rest are asleep? He thought.

Damian still went out of his room to check on his family. Not that he would admit that they were.

"Pennyworth? Drake? Father?" He called as he walked to the stairs.

He didn't found Alfred at the kitchen, and all of his father's cars were parked, which me at that Drake and his father weren't at WE.

After searching for them for a couple of minutes more he heard Pennyworth coming up from the cave.

"Master Damian, I see you're awake, I was just about to go and check on you."

"Tt, Pennyworth why didn't you wake me up for school?"

The butler was about to answer when Drake entered the room.

"Alf, we shouldn't let Damian see the vide-" He looked up from his phone "Oh..."

"Oh what Drake? What am I not supposed to see?"

Drake tried to deny what he said, he was clearly covering the cave entrance, he was hiding something.

"Drake is father in there? What is he doing?"

"Uh nothing he was just working on a case you know? Doing stuff"

Damian didn't believed him a bit.

The boy ran towards the cave entrance, jumping Alfred, he managed to dodge Tim as the older boy was clearly slow because of sleep deprivation.

His father didn't noticed when he arrived.

"Father? Wha-What are you doing?" Damian asked as he saw the files about his mother and grandfather, his father was writing something in them.

"Damian! I didn't knew you were awake..."

Damian ignored the comment as he approached the computer.

Thalia Al Ghul  
Status: Deceased  
Caused of dead: Sword injury.

Ras Al Ghul  
Status: Deceased  
Cause of death: Sword injury.

"Father, what do you mean with deceased?" Damian tried as hard as possible to sound normal. He didn't knew why he asked, it was obvious what it meant, but some childish part of himself refused to believe it.

"I-I was going to tell you at breakfast..."

Damian stayed quiet shaking his head multiple times, refusing to believe it.

"Drake mentioned a video..." Damian finally talked. "Is it about-?" He didn't finished his sentence, he didn't needed to, his father understood him.

"You don't have to watch it son."

Damian ignored him, and got into the computer, a video was open in another window, it showed the HQ of the League at Nanda Parbat.

The place was almost completely destroyed, multiple bodies were laying on the floor, some of them were not even complete, there was fire, and rests of an explosion, in the middle of the place her mother and grandfather were kneeling, his grandfather was barely conscious, but Damian could understand him speaking in Arab, he was threatening them, telling them he would come back as always, that he would get revenge.

The men had killed Thalia after she had insulted them in more than three languages, they had pierced her with a sword right through the chest, it took just a couple of seconds before she felt completely to the ground, Damian tried to not cry as he continued watching the video.

They had made the same thing with his grandfather, the only difference was that they pierced his stomach, leaving him alive for a couple of seconds more, maybe even a minute or two.

"Now old Ras, tell me, how will you come back, if there is no body to heal?" They had asked in Arab.

Ras had opened his eyes, the men were already getting picked up by others.

And that's when his grandfather died, and a huge explosion followed it. The speed of the video increased, it probably took hours before the fire ended, there was nothing much but ashes, no body to heal and rescue, no body to get into the Lazarus put and revive them.

Damian started crying quietly, tears falling down, there wasn't even a way to differentiate the ashes of the place he once called home to the ashes of the people he once called family.

He started crying louder, his father approached him, he just stepped away, shaking his head in denial.

"It...this can't be true they-" Damian didn't even finished his sentence before he forced himself to stop crying. "I'm going to be in my room father." He said with a serious tone, Bruce knew his son needed space, he would talk to him later that day.

That moment didn't arrived.

Damian had been avoiding the rest of them during the day, skipping breakfast, lunch, and diner, Alfred didn't said anything to him as the boy seemed so...dull.

A day turned into a week, and Damian stayed the same, Bruce had to call Dick, who was going to arrive in a couple of days.

Damian felt empty, he could feel so many emotions, but at the same time he felt nothing. He wanted to scream, cry, fight, he was cold and angry at the world.

He hated the cold air of November, it was nothing like the desert back when he was training at the league. Cold was never a thing unless he was sent to a mountain or to train at another location.

Mother and him would usually go around and walk through the soft sand.

"Ibn" She had said once during those walks. "Can you see all of this? Do you see the sand, the sky and the city? Do you feel it? Do you smell it?"

At the moment it had been a normal smell and feeling, now Damian could barely remember it, the same way he could barely remember sweet moment with her mother.

"This, my son, is all going to be yours my prince, you will rule all of it, you will become my Alexander, and you will do great things Damian, I know you are destined for it."

Damian had felt proud, he had been 5 at the time, and it was the last year before her mother changed with him and his advanced training started.

They had slides through the sand dunes that day, not bothering about grandfather and the league, not bothering about the future that was waiting for them, they had just been mother and son, just that simple, playing in the sand and taking a break from their lives in a visit to the city.

Damian grabbed his katana harder, letting tears fall down as he remembered the green eyes of her mother, and the warmth of the sun back then.

He screamed and started cutting trees and bushes in half, letting everything out.

"Damian" He heard his father calling him.

He stopped with his sword, but he didn't looked at his father.

"Son, come here, look at me please."

Damian refused for a couple of minutes, but finally he looked at his father's eyes.

Bruce could see those normally bright emerald green eyes being dull, more gray than normal. But he could see the tears falling from them. It broke his heart to see one of his sons like that.

And the fact that Damian cruised awfully quiet and was trying to not show it disturbed him.

"Oh Dames, come here." He said.

Damian approached, standing in front of him, he didn't threw himself to his father's arms, but Bruce took away his katana, not wanting his son to hurt himself intentionally or by accident in that state, and he lowered himself to his height and placed a hand on Damian's shoulder.

"It's ok Damian, you can cry, it's going to be ok. I promise." Bruce hugged his son and Damian hugged him back sobbing.

They stayed in there for some time, and when he finally let go, Damian could say he was feeling just a bit better.

The next time was with Drake, just a few hours later.

Tim was at the library, he was near the fireplace, which was turned off, and he was reading some old books during a snowstorm. 

He was too distracted in his reading to notice when the kid entered to the place.

Tim didn't noticed he was in there until he heard a book falling from a shelf that Damian was trying to get.

Damian finally grabbed a book, it was one of the few that Bruce had bought in Arabic for Damian, because it was one of his first languages, and also so the rest of the family could practice the language.

The boy was just the same as he had been during the last week, he was too quiet even to fight with Tim, not that Tim would fight him just after he lost his mother and grandfather.

Even though Tim didn't understood why the kid was so affected, he hadn't talked with them in almost more than a year as far as Tim knew, and they had abused him during almost his entire life, even when Damian didn't wanted to acknowledge it.

Not that Tim would tell Damian, he had grown enough to know when it was better to shut up,

After a couple of minutes of Tim watching Damian reading he could see the boy was clearly shivering.

Tim rolled his eyes and turned on the fireplace, because obviously the boy was too goddamn proud to turn it on.

Tim sat again, but closer to Damian, who stayed quiet reading before finally saying quietly.

"Thank you..." Tim blinked twice to try to convince himself he wasn't dreaming, and he wasn't going to ask the kid again because he would deny it.

"I didn't do it for you...it was getting pretty cold here." He lied, Damian thanked that in silence, even if it was just the two of them only, he would never admit showing a simple weakness like being cold.

Even when Damian hates the cold.

"...we didn't had it." Damian said.

Tim looked at him.

"The cold, back at the desert..." He explained himself.

Tim didn't said anything else.

Not that Damian wanted or expected him to.

At some point Damian felt asleep on his brother's shoulder. None of them ever talked about it the next morning or ever again.

He went out for patrol for the first time in the week the day after that.

His father had left him take some time from patrolling, it had mostly because he had been scared he would do something stupid or reckless without thinking it first.1

His father and him split at some point, Robin didn't remember exactly when, but they had been chasing some robbers.

Finally Batman called him, telling him he had got the guys and that he would wait for him at the Batmobile.

That was the moment when Damian started to feel way too tired to continue running and jumping. He had to take a break, he sat on a rooftop or a random building, not a big building, but also not a small one, just a simple building, so no one would ever look up at him and see him cry at least.

He was tired of crying, but he couldn't stop, he thought that it was maybe because of how many years he didn't cried, and now it was paying up with the tears for his mother and grandfather, mostly his mother.

Robin was staring at nothing in general, he was mostly having some memories about them at league.

He cried in silence until he heard someone landing on the rooftop.

He thought it was his father, he would had actually preferred if it was him just checking on him because he was taking too long or something.

What he didn't expected was Red Hood.

"Hey kid, watcha doing here?" He asked.

Damian looked down trying to hide his tears. "Go away Hood..."

Jason ignored him completely and took of his helmet, he still had a domino mask put on, and he walked towards Damian, and without saying a word he just pleased his helmet on his head.

"Don't worry kid, that way no one will actually see you." This was one of the few things that Jason didn't said with a teasing tone, he was actually being serious and helping Damian hide his tears.

Damian nodded as a thanks, and Jason sat right next to him.

"I heard about Thalia and Ras...I won't say I'm sorry, they were assholes, but I know that she tried her best as a mother to you, at least for some years...and I'm more sorry for the fact that you will suffer their loss"

Damian nodded again.

Thalia was not as bad as everyone thought, she had tried to save Damian from the league as a baby, she once tried to get them both to his father, but one of his mother's servants had told Ras about it, and it had been impossible to leave after that.

Even when they weren't able to leave, Thalia tried her best to do something's for his son, things like taking trying to postpone as much as possible the beginning of his training and first kill, or taking care of his injuries after training. Taking him to the city, telling him stories and helping him with better fighting techniques, playing with him as much as possible that was in the league, which wasn't much.

That had all changed when she got into the Lazarus pit for the first time.

There had been a mission gone wrong, and Thalia had been injured, badly.

She hadn't wanted Damian to see her in that date, but he was a curious child, and Ras had thought it would be better to get him to see the process, just so he could get tougher.

He doesn't need to say much about that day, but all the love his mother ever had for him, and the small actions she did for him were gone. She pretty much banished from his life. Letting his training get harder, and that's what the 'abuse', as he heard Tim said once, started,

Red Hood stayed with him for some minutes, before standing up and saying, "You can keep it, don't worry."

Then he left.

Father didn't asked about the helmet or his tardiness.

The next morning Dick arrived, Damian greeted him at the door, not with the same excited way, but in a more...quiet way, it disturbed Dick.

Dick tried to give the boy some space at first. But when Damian seemed more and more distant Dick finally decided to step in.

"Hey little D...I heard that you found Jason yesterday on patrol?" Dick sat at Damian's side.

Damian just clicked his tongue.

"Yeah I did." Damian said before stay silent again, he really didn't knew what to say.

Both brothers stayed in silence at each other's side, finally Dick spoke.

"I know what it is like to loosing your family Damian. I just hope that you know that you can talk about it with me."

Dick waited for an answer, but when he finally realized that he wasn't going to get one he stood up to get back at the manor.

"It's getting cold...we should get back."

"I had been talking to her. To them." Damian said to Dick.

Dick got confused for a second, then he realized. Damian had started contact with them again.

"I didn't wanted to tell father...I felt as if I was betraying them but I..."

Dick got closer to Damian and hugged him.

"Oh kiddo, talking with wasn't betraying us, you just wanted to speak to your mom it's ok."

"I missed them, but what if I had never called them? I would have never been able to talk to them one last time. I never got to say how much she meant to me...but I guess that's just how she's."

Dick hugged him tighter.

"I miss them."

And after all that, Damian started crying, and it was ok, because even after what her mom and grandfather did, they were his family, and it was ok to miss them, at least he had his family to help him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The scene of Jason and Damian was inspired by a mini comic I saw on Instagram, but I don't remember who made that fanart.
> 
> Sorry for this I kinda don't know what it was supposed to be lmao. And then I forgot how it was supposed to end so yeah...


	6. Growing up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damian’s growing up and doesn’t know what to do about it...or what to do with his life in general

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one shot is pretty related to me realizing I’m growing up and the anxiety it gives me that I’ll soon have to make big decisions that will affect me for the rest of my life (probably). So it’s personal in a way.

Damian realized he's growing up.

He doesn't know what to do about it.

Damian never thought it was a big deal to imagine your future.

Damn, he didn't even had the choice to think about what he wanted in his future until he came with his father.

At the league, it had always been obvious that Damian would become the next head of the demon. And even when he came to live with his father, he wanted Robin, he wanted Batman, and he was sure he would become the CEO of Wayne Enterprises.

But now, Tim had proven himself to be very good at being at Wayne Enterprises, and if Damian thought about it.

He didn't wanted any of those things anymore.

It all started with a silly question.

"So Damian, just a couple years and you will start college, have you thought of any?" His father had asked.

Damian hadn't.

And that scared him.

He was already halfway done with 11th grade, some of his classmates were already starting to look for some colleges and universities, he was scared, scared that when he closed his eyes again he would already be too old for school.

Too old to chose.

That didn't scared him, that terrified him.

What if he never liked whatever he chose for living? What if he was stuck with it for the rest of his life? What if he was never good at any laboral thing?

He knew he was overthinking.

But he had been having a lot of free time during the last couple of days.

Damian was growing up, and he didn't knew what to do about it.

*  
Bruce was at his office in the manor when he heard someone entering.

He decided to look up from his documents.

It was Damian. It surprised him, the youngest of his children had been pretty distant during the last couple of weeks, almost as if his mind wasn't here at all.

He hadn't expected for his youngest, he would have expected more for Tim to come in, he was staying at the manor for the weekend.

It wasn't like Damian to don't knock the door, not that Bruce was bothered by it, he was just intrigued.

His son didn't seemed to be here either.

"Damian, son, what's wrong?" He finally asked.

Damian felt nervous.

Stupid, stupid Damian, why bother father with this? He thought.

"Uh...I, nothing, it's nothing, i should probably leave you-"

"Oh, don't worry, I was just finishing anyways, I thought about going to see you, you've been distracted this days, is anything bothering you?"

Damian shook his head.

Bruce could tell he was lying.

"Well, either way, I was thinking about going to get dinner? We could get some fast food, I won't tell Alfred when he arrives from England."

*  
During the car drive Damian remained silent. He didn't felt like talking, or even to tell Drake what he thought about his horrible tastes in music.

When they arrived to the Batburger, Drake offered himself to get the food, leaving father and son alone for some minutes.

"Now will you tell me what's been bothering you?"

"Tt. I already told you father, I'm fine."

He spited the last word.

Bruce stayed quiet, Damian would talk when he would want to talk to him.

Damian muttered something after some minutes. Making Bruce to look at him.

"What?"

"Did you...did you knew what you wanted to do when you grew up?"

It took Bruce a bit to get what Damian was talking about.

"It's just...I never thought that I would be able to, you know, actually decide what I want to do."

"Damian you never thought I would obligate you to do someone you don't want to, did you?"

"No! I-It's just that, even when iI have been out of the league for so long, it's still hard you know? To get used to the fact that I can chose something else from being the head of the demon, and...for some years, a part of me always thought i would go back."

That had changed when his mother killed him, obviously. Not that he would say that.

"And now that I can chose...what if i chose wrong? What if I don't like it?"

Bruce stayed quiet for a moment.

"You know, at your age I didn't knew what I wanted to do either." Bruce took a breath. "You know the fact that i started mes school and then dropped it? Well after it I didn't knew what to do either, Wayne Enterprises never crossed my mind for some years."

"Really?" Damian had said.

"Of course, and, no matter what you want to do, we will be happy, as long as it is something you like, I will be proud."

"Even if...that doesn't include Batman?"

"Even if that doesn't include Batman."

Drake didn't understood why father and son were smiling when he arrived with the food.

*  
A couple of years had passed.

Damian had asked his father if he could quit Robin a couple of months after, when his siblings had asked if he would take a new identity, Damian had said no. He wouldn't, maybe just in very special cases were things were wrong and needed him.

But he decided that vigintalism wasn't something he wanted to do for the rest of his life.

Grayson had hugged him, telling him he was happy for him.

And Damian could see the proud in his father eyes.

After that, Damian had taken a year after ending high school to travel around Europe, he had been volunteering also, but it was mostly to take some time for himself.

And when the time finally came, Damian knew what he wanted to do.

It wasn't very traditional, and his mother and grandfather wouldn't be happy, but at least he was.

He smiled with pride in his eyes when he saw the university he was going to go to.

And he knew that this was what he wanted to do for the rest of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder that you can read my stories as @inesucag in Wattpad, and that this are old one shots, I’ll be trying to write longer one shots but they take time


	7. Flashbacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damian goes to WE after some time, he gets flashbacks from his death.

"Damian come on we are going to be late." Bruce called his son from the entrance of the manor. That's day was one of few days they were the two of them at the manor, Alfred was visiting his family, Dick was in Blüdhaven, Jason hasn't been passing by for a while since Alfred wasn't there, and Tim was with the Titans.

It was just Damian and his father.

Bruce told Damian that he wanted them to go at the cinema.

Damian didn't had any other choice but agree, even though he did wanted to spend time with his father without being Batman and Robin, and being just Bruce and Damian, not that he would tell his father he was happy about it.

"Tt, I'm coming father!" Damian finally arrived to the main entrance door, fully dressed now.

"Here, have this coat, it's gonna be cold today"

"As if it wasn't everyday here in Gotham" Damian murmured while his father put him a coat on. 

"Ready?" His father asked him.

Damian nodded and stayed quiet, something his father decided to ignore, after all his son was a very moody teenager sometimes.

They had been at the car for some while now, Gotham's traffic was a mess, they stayed in silence hearing the radio or just staring at the window.

While they were at a red light, Bruce's phone ringed. He answered through his headset earphone.

Damian ignored the other voice of the call, and just occasionally heard his father humming or saying monosyllables as answers.

"Yes Lucius, I'll be there as fast as possible" Then he ended the conversation and looked at his son. "Damian, do you mind if we go first to WE? Something came up and it's gonna be really quick"

"Sure" He said not really paying attention, he was already inside his mind.

His father hadn't noticed, but he had been avoiding going to Wayne Enterprises, he had just been there like once or twice in the last couple of years.

When they arrived Bruce didn't noticed how Damian flinched at the moment they both entered to the building, Damian noticed how they reconstructed the place, but that didn't changed the fact that it was that building.

Nightwing had felt unconscious after his opponent had thrown him.

"Damian I'm going to go to my office, it's gonna take me less than 30 minutes I hope, do you wanna come?"

Robin was now alone against his clone, the Heretic, his brother, his twin, his rival, as he had said

Damian didn't heard his father, he was already in his memories.

"Now you will know me" he had said before throwing himself to attack Robin.

Bruce noticed something was wrong. His son wasn't moving, his eyes were wide open.

Robin screamed for his father, pleading his mother to stop that monster.

"Damian, Damian! Are you ok?" Bruce said kneeling in front of his son. He didn't knew if he should touch him, the most probable thing was that he was having a flashback.

The Heretic was trying to get the world-bomb trigger the woman had in his hands, and Robin couldn't let that happen, not when he was still alive.

"Son, don't worry, you're here, you're with me, he...The Heretic isn't here, he's dead, do you remember that?" Bruce tried to calm down his son who was now shaking.

He had promised his father to not kill again, but he shot him right throw the chest with the arrow.

"Damian? Son, can you hear me?" 

For a moment it looked as if Robin was winning, but then his clone had the chance to grab him by his neck and throw him to the wall.

"F-Father?"

This was the first time in his life, where Damian felt truly scared, he pleaded his mother again.

"Yes, yes, it's me Damian, it's Bruce, your Father" he out a hand on his shoulder. "Now, can you take deep breaths for me?"

The Heretic had a sword. Damian knew there wasn't anything else to do.

"Yes, like that, inhale, exhale" Bruce ignores the looks they both got, right now Damian was the only thing that mattered. "Can you tell me where are we?"

He was going to die.

Damian had tears on his eyes. "We...we are.."

Finally the sword passed through his stomach, Robin exhaled for the last time.

"...we are at Wayne Tower..."

He died, Robin, Damian Wayne died at Wayne Enterprises, killed by his own brother.

Damian gasped, finally getting out of the flashback.

"There. Are you back with us chum?"

He stayed looking at his father for a few minutes before nodding. 

Bruce smiles at him, they stayed in silence for a few minutes, he hugged his son and then asked him if he could walk.

Damian nodded again, clearly lying, when he took a few steps he almost felt if it wasn't for his father stopping his fall.

He decided to carry Damian back to the car, Damian was still trying to get his head back to the present, so he didn't protest like he would usually would had.

When they both were back at the car, Bruce called Lucius and told him that he wasn't going to be able to go, right before heading back to the manor.

"What about the movie?" Damian asked his father, finally reacting when they arrived at the manor.

"I thought that it would be better to go tomorrow."

Bruce carried him again. Damian protested, saying that he was fine, but he didn't made anything to get down.

They both entered Damian's room, and Bruce placed him in his bed.

Damian was starting to fall asleep, but when he noticed his father going away he asked him;

"Can...can you stay here tonight with me please?"

His father opened his eyes, he didn't really expected him to ask him that.

He nodded and got back to his son's side.

Bruce noticed that Damian was sleeping now.

"I promise you, I'll never let your mother touch you again, I won't fail you...not again Damian"

Alfred got back the next day to find both father and son sleeping together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This just didn't turned out as I wanted...and I don't like it a lot, but I don't usually write a complete chapter or one shot about Bruce and Damian moments so here it is...


	8. Unworthy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caution, self harm and suicide attempt warning.
> 
> Another of shyshy1798 ideas, just that I changed it a bit.
> 
> If any of you have any ideas you can always put them in here

Unworthy. 

That word was on Damian's head repeating over and over.

But it was true.

He was sitting on his room, in the floor, at the corner with a bloody blade on his hands. He didn't even cared to take away his Robin uniform, Alfred must be angry...

Damian was crying, like a child would do. If his mother could see him...no, he was such a disgrace.

He was unworthy to be an Al Ghul, unworthy to be a Wayne, unworthy to be Robin.

So he cut.

He did it again, he had killed a man who was trying to rape a woman.

He didn't mean to, he just...  
Whatever, it didn't mattered anymore.

So he cut.

Father was angry at him, he had yelled at Damian for killing the man. It seems that Damian's only good for being an assassin, just like the Al Ghul had thought him. He was unworthy to be Robin, unworthy to be a Wayne, unworthy to be his father's son.

And he cut a little deeper.

But still...he wasn't an Al Ghul anymore, his mother had disowned him, banned him from the Al Ghul house, he was unworthy to be the heir to the league, unworthy to be his grandfather's heir, or his mother's son. 

Another deep cut.

So if he wasn't and Al Ghul or a Wayne, what was he? He was Damian.

But who was Damian?

Just an unworthy child.

A nobody.

He cut too many times.

He lost the count.

His arms were full of blood, not that he cared, nobody did actually. He was just a demon brat, his father hadn't even chosen him.

But he couldn't blame father for it, it's not like he would ever had chosen himself either actually.

Everything seemed like it was too much, the glare of his father after he killed the man, the guilty feeling he had after he realized what he had done.

The realization that he was no better than Thalia or Ras.

So he cried and cut, he cut himself more than he had on his entire life.

His window was open. It was already dark, but then he heard something entering to his room.

Something small.

A little Robin.

The Robin stood on his right hand, the one with the blade on it.

He stopped cutting. 

He realized it had been almost an hour since he started crying on his room. And about 29 minutes since he took his blade.

It was too much...it wasn't ok, he...he was not okay. 

He looked at his arms.

Crap.

His blade felt to the floor making a metallic noise.

He had cut too much, there was too much blood, to much cuts...

He was bleeding out.

He...he didn't meant to.

Damian tried to stand up, but he couldn't, his head was dizzy.

How could he not realize sooner?

He really didn't meant to!

What would his family think?!

But still...it would be better for them...for him, if he just-

"OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, DAMIAN"

He heard someone entering to his room...

***

"It's...it's ok Bruce he...he's alive, he didn't made it"

"No Dick! It's not ok! He...Damian, my son just tried to kill himself!"

Damian tried to glare...he couldn't open his eyes, he didn't wanted to...

"The last words I could have probably ever said to him would have been 'you should have stayed with your mother, I never wanted you anyway, you're just a rape product'! He could have died thinking that I don't even want him! I'm a horrible father!"

For a moment Damian thought that maybe his father knew he was awake and didn't wanted to say the truth. But that was stupid, he had been awake for just a few minutes.

So did that meant-?

"Damian!" He could hear Tim saying "Guys, I think Damian just moved!"

Both adults stopped talking and rushed to Damian.

"Little D, kiddo, are you awake?" 

Damian tried to open his eyes, he wanted to look at his family.

The room was bright and white, it made him close his eyes again for a second.

When he opened them again he realized he wasn't on the bat cave as he thought...he was in a hospital room.

He looked away from his father's look.

His father didn't said anything.

Dick hugged him, tightly.

"Why?" Was the only thing his older brother managed to say.

Damian tried to respond, but his voice didn't answer, his throat was too dry.

"Why little D? Would you really leave us like that-?" Dick's voice broke as he talked.

"I-I didn't.." Damian started coughing.

"Here" Tim have him a glass of water.

"Damian" His father called him "I'm...I'm sorry...I'm so, so sorry"

"No, I...I get it, I...you never wanted me, you never planned me... it was just all part of my grandfather's and mother's plan..."

"Damian, stop right there. I love you, I didn't meant it, I was just mad at you, and mad at me because I should have known about you earlier and took you with me, that way you wouldn't have had to kill anyone...you may have not been planned, but I love you as much as any of your siblings"

"You...you mean it?" 

"Of course I do son, and I'm sorry I made you think otherwise"

Damian smiled at his father, then he looked at Dick, who was still with tears on his face.

"I didn't meant to do it, really"

Dick shock his head and said nothing, so Damian continued talking.

"I was just cutting a bit, I promise...I didn't meant to go so far, I just needed to stop the feelings..."

Dick hugged Damian so hard, Damian thought he might break his bones.

"I'm sorry little D, I should have known..."

"It wasn't you fault...it wasn't your responsibility..."

Damian looked at Tim, who had been almost quiet since he woke up.

"I think we will go and get some food, be right back" Bruce and Dick exited the room.

"How long?" Tim quietly said after a few minutes.

Damian looked down, then he answered. "A few weeks after I came to the manor, I used to do other things instead of cutting at the league, grandfather would be mad if I had cut myself...then at the manor it got worst after my 13th birthday"

Tim stayed silent, he knew Damian had spent that birthday almost completely alone.

"I never got to that point you know?"

Damian looked at him confused.

"The cutting I mean, I-I thought about it...I almost made it once, but Dick found out and helped me. And then when I found you on the floor..."

"It was you?"

"Yes, I found you...there was so much blood, I got scared you wouldn't make it, and then I felt stupid, I have been through the same thing that you and I didn't realized...I had Dick and then Bruce to talk about it, but you had no one, it could have been me if I just had noticed your behavior...Dick feels guilty because he didn't noticed as he did with me, but I'm the closest brother to your age, and I'm the brother that spends more time in the manor..."

"Drake you didn't..."

"No. I mean, when I saw you, I was thinking that it would have been me if Dick hadn't helped me...but I didn't helped you, and that's why you ended up like that. Geez Dames, you could have died!"

"Tim"

Tim looked at his brother with tears, Damian realized that he actually cared about him.

Damian had tears on his eyes.

"It's okay, you're okay now, and you will get through this...I'll help you, we will get through this"

Damian had never believed in someone that much as he did that night.


	9. Labyrinth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After another fight between Bruce and Damian, Damian runs away, and gets in trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Character Death, uhmmm I don't know but there's blood?? I don't think it's that graphical but wellll

God he hated it.

He had been running the last few hours, he was exhausted, he had woke up on some sort of labyrinth on the outsides of Gotham.

It wouldn't had been so difficult if Damian had slept on the last three days. But he didn't.

Also the Joker was kinda chasing him.

You ask yourself, well, how the hell did he ended up like that?

Easy. He and his father fought, again, like for the third time this week.

And it was just Monday night...or probably a very early Tuesday, Damian didn't knew, he had been trapped in that place for hours.

But again, he wouldn't be on that situation if he hadn't had fought Drake in the middle of patrol.

He had been so tired, and then Drake just spited out some comments about his mother.

Damian shouldn't had reacted like that, he knew it, but Drake shouldn't had said that either.

And things escalated quickly. Drake ended up with a broken nose and a concussion.

Damian was sure he had an sprained wrist and ankle.

Then his father got mad because of that.

And they both said some things they didn't really meant. But what has been said can not be undone.

He yelled at his father and threw his Robin R away as he stormed out of the bat cave on his motorcycle.

It was a cold night in January and it was raining, but he didn't cared much.

He turned off his com and every single thing that his father or any member of the bat clan could use to track him.

Hours passed after that, and Damian had got into some fights against some normal bank robbers (they were pretty bad).

But then he noticed something off. He could feel a presence looking at him, following him.

Little did he knew that there had being an Arkham breakout that night.

"Little birdie is all alone now?"

Damian turned to look at the voice.

"Joker" he spit the name.

"Well, what are you doing without Batsy? I hoped to have some fun with him tonight!"

Robin didn't answer.

"Oh I see...then I guess I'll just have to play with you instead!"

Joker ran to Robin. Robin knew he wouldn't be able to fight him alone, so he dodged most of the attacks, when Joker took out his gun he took his grapple gun and tried to get as far as possible from him.

Of course he was so lucky that when he was in the middle of the air his sprained wrist gutted so bad he looser balance for a few seconds, but those seconds where enough for the joker to fire.

And Joker being the Joker didn't even aimed at any vital part, just at his shoulder, so of course he would fall and he could have some fun with Robin.

Damian landed on his sprained ankle in a very unnatural way. He heard a crack. It was probably broken.

He tried to stand up, but it hurt so bad...it was definitely broken. It took him a few seconds but he forced himself to walk so he could get away of the Joker.

He never realized when he entered to the forest to some weird ruins formed in the shape of a giant labyrinth covered by snow.

"Oh little Robin! Come out from wherever you are!"

Shit. Damian thought.

He needed to get out, if he could get to a higher place to get a better vision of the place...

And of course he had left his grapple gun when he felt. The world really hated him that much, just as if someone was really trying to make everything go wrong for him today.

He tried to climb, but his shoulder and wrist weren't willing to cooperate.

Damian mentally slapped himself when after some minutes of hiding and trying to get out of the labyrinth he remembered he still had his com with him.

He normally wouldn't had asked for help, but he had been bleeding for hours and the Joker was getting closer.

Also because of the rain from a few hours ago he had been soaked wet and he was sure he had hypothermia because of being out there in the snow.

"-bin, Robin, where are you?" He could hear his father say through the com.

"Father..." 

"Robin! Do you hear me? Where are you?"

"Batman...I-I don't exactly know...I just turned on my devices, it's seems that Joker lead me into some sort of Labyrinth"

"Wait! Robin, is Joker in there?!" He could hear Red Robin ask.

Damian rolled his eyes, of course he was in there! He wouldn't had say so if he wasn't!

"Yes, but that's not the problem I need some medical attention and-"

"There you are you little twerp! Now we can a start the fun!" He looked at Robin's com and grinned "Oh I see...Batsy, won't you come and play too? Or are you going to be too late...again?"

Robin opened his eyes and started running as fast as his ankle and adrenaline let him.

"Robin! Are you still there?! We're coming!"

Damian felt to the grass as the Joker heated him with some bat (which he probably had took from Harley) and beat him with it.

He groaned in pain as he tried to stand up and fight back.

The Joker saw that coming and shoot him at his arm.

Bruce just yelled through the com. "Damian! Are you ok?"

"Well, you sure are taking your time on this one Batsy!"

Bruce just grunted as he drove as crazy through the city, it would have been faster if he had took the batwing, but he was already searching for Damian (in the farthest point of Gotham from where he actually was) when he called for help.

The crazy clown started to grab Damian's fingers and break them one by one.

He then continued hitting him with his fists and his bat, Damian was coughing up blood and was crying in pain at this point.

For Bruce and Tim it was horrible to hear their little bird suffering so much while the crazy clown was laughing.

"God damnit why does it have to be so far?!" Bruce yelled while he was driving, he was now close to the forest.

After a some minutes Joker stopped beating him and said "Guess I just had enough fun for today, and you were too late to enjoy any of it Bat"

Damian looked while Joker got away from him, he was shaking so much it hurt, along with every single part of his body, he was starting to feel sleepy, but he knew he couldn't fall asleep...not when his father and Drake were so close...

"F-Father??"

"Don't worry Damian, we're already entering the labyrinth, don't worry buddy"

"It's...It's cold" Damian tries to breath, but it was getting harder every time "I'm feeling tired and I..."

"I know son just stay awake, I promise I'll get there Damian, I promise!" Bruce was desperate he couldn't loose him, not again, not after all they went through to get him back.

(Ok little pause in here because I just heard some gunshots and like race cars at almost 2 am and got scared that my mom would wake up and find me lol)

"Y-You promise?" Damian whispered.

"I promise!" Bruce said running as fast as he could. Little did he know, that he son never heard those last words.

***

He had been late.

A few minutes late.

Damian had lost too much blood to survive hypothermia.

He wanted to yell, he wanted to cry.

But the only thing he could was hug his son's dead body while saying sorry.

***

Tim couldn't believed it.

It was the second time they had lost the little boy, and they were useless.

"Bruce it's...it's useless" he said while his voice broke. "He....he's..." he whispered, unable to finish the sentence.

They had been too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original note in Wattpad:  
> Ok sorry, i was just reading some angst and I was like "I gotta write some" and ended up with this...I'll probably will read it in the morning and won't make much sense because it's 2 am.
> 
> Also I know Tim barely spoke through this, but that's the way I feel some people would react too, some would be screaming and stuff like that like Bruce, while some people would be so nervous they would be trying to help or do stuff while being quiet.
> 
> Another note after correcting some errors:
> 
> Ok guys I totally forgot I wrote this lol


	10. Father and son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Small chapter with Bruce and Damian

Bruce had been trying to spend a day with each member or the family, from the oldest to the youngest, he had even included Alfred, Duke, Babs, and pretty much everyone...

Damian had been waiting for this all week long, maybe more, how much family does he had anyways? It was a lot, Christmas card was a mess, even when half of the family weren't even family just very close friends or current couples or ex of his siblings.

It was a mess.

But ignoring that, Damian had been waiting for his father to tell him what they were going to do, he had said no "extra curricular activities related" and told him that he would be the one planning the day.

He didn't knew what they were going to do, it wasn't like if Damian had been spending too much time with his father outside patrol or investigating a case...maybe none at all, he never brought him to school, when he arrived he was either working or doing some Batman related stuff. And when he was on 'vacations' he was probably too injured to do something with Damian, but that was probably the days he spent the most time with him, drawing or reading at his side.

It was Friday, Damian had school, and Bruce was the one who brought him and was going to pick him up.

During the ride to Gotham Academy, Damian had tried to discover what his father and him were going to do. It wasn't that he was exited to know about it.

No he was just...intrigued, he want- needed to know where they were going to go at the afternoon, just to be prepared.

His father had avoided every time he asked, changing his subject to insignificant things such as the climate or how his classes were going.

It was frustrating to say at least.

School passed very quickly, Damian barely payed attention, not that he didn't knew what they were seeing, but it was unusual.

Then school ended, and his father was surprisingly already in there. 

"What? Surprised I actually came?" Bruce asked with a smirk, it was a playful one.

"I thought you were going to be late..." Damian admitted as he entered to the convertible.

His father's smile vanished for a few seconds.

"Hey, Damian, I know we haven't been spending too much time, that's why I have the rest of the day only for you and I spending time, to make it up to you."

With that Bruce started the car, getting them into a Tim Hortons to eat something.

"Are you hungry? I haven't ate anything all day long, I'm starving" Bruce said as he entered the place.

"I already ate lunch father"

"Well, too bad, grilled cheese over here are the best, why don't you pick up a seat while I order?"

Damian nodded and did so. After a couple of minutes Bruce arrived with his order and a frapuccino for Damian.

"What's this?"

"An Oreo frapuccino"

"But it has too much sugar, there's no point on drinking this if it won't give me anything valuable"

"I know, but I also guessed that you'd never tried one, at your age I used to love Frappuccino"

Damian shrugged his arms and took a sip, it wasn't actually bad...

"Guess you liked it" Bruce chuckled as he watched his son finishing the entire drink in minutes. He had barely talked as he drank the Frappuccino.

"It was...pleasant" Damian responded "So where are we going now?"

"The art gallery" 

Damian's eyes lit up as a Christmas tree, he had been wanting to go to this new art gallery since it had opened last week. Bruce chuckled as he watched his son's excitement.

They both enjoyed watching the art, Damian sketched most of the things he saw, from people to paintings, sometimes even the entire room.

"Your art skills never cease to amaze me son." Bruce said as Damian drew a quick drawing of the room. Bruce then took a sigh, that had sounded too formal, just like Thalia. "It's amazing, I love it."

Damian would never admit it but that's all he wanted, father's approval, even with something so simple as his art skills.

"Tt. Thank you father..."

They both started walking through the gallery, Damian explaining some of the techniques to his father without noticing wasn't noticing how excited he was doing it.

Bruce bought Damian some gifts from the gallery's shop, some art stuff, he also bought a magnet for the kitchen.

After they finished at the art gallery, Bruce took him to the zoo. Damian had just visited the zoo as Robin, and he was excited.

"Father look! There is a white tiger here!" Damian approached the animal's cage, if it could be called like that.

(Did you know there are around 200 white tigers left? In the zoo near my city there's one. I haven't been there since I was like 6. So probably there isn't one anymore.)

Bruce noticed how Damian was getting preoccupied about if those animals were treated correctly, Bruce had been starting to donate to the zoo, but maybe it hadn't been enough. He should get those animals bigger spaces, as it wasn't possible for them to be free after being in the zoo for so long. He would discuss it with Damian later.

When they arriving back at the manor Bruce's com started beeping.

Damian looked at him, waiting for him to answer, Bruce hesitated, but ended up answering.

"B, Arkham breakout, we've got it but there is a hostage situation at a couple of blocks from where you are, could you handle it?" Tim asked.

Damian looked at him and nodded. He could spend some more time with his father, and then they could watch a movie.

And so they did.


End file.
